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Some say old people should continue to work, if their condition allows them to do so

Some say old people should continue to work, if their condition allows them to do so 9Q6Bp
In recent years, society has become a board issue to the general public. Some people believe that old people should continue to work, if their condition allows them to do so. In my opinion, I partly agree with this idea. Discussed below are several reasons supporting my respective. On the one hand, there are some arguments in favour of the idea that the old several experiences which biring many advances. Firstly, no one can deny the practical skill that every newbie can not learn from scholl or university. Old people have worked for many years od their life to gain that valid lesson and it took the main part of success. Secondly, some old people need to retire on a pension bescause of their health problems or they just want to spend time with family members or friends. However, others still want to work and contribute as possible as the young. On the other hand, there are several arguments against the idea that old people can not work with the same quality as the young. One main argument is that the elderly face to ageing diseases have impact on their conditions. Furthermore, their family members probably do not agree because they think some dangerous work can not ensure the safety of work environment. For example, Globalization of the world economy require employers know how to use a range of modern technology. It is easy to see that, old people have no chance to win if compare with the young. In conclusion, the above mentioned facts that made me think it could have both positive and negative side. People should discuss the impact of this issue more.
In recent years, society has become a board issue to the
Consider using "public".
general public
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should continue to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, if their condition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. In my opinion, I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. Discussed below are several reasons supporting my respective.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
several experiences which
Possible spelling mistake found.
biring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advances.
Firstly
, no one can deny the practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
that every newbie can not learn from
Possible spelling mistake found.
scholl
or university.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have worked for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
years od
their life to gain that valid lesson and it took the main part of success.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to retire on a pension
Possible spelling mistake found.
bescause
of their health
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
problems or
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to spend time with family members or friends.
However
, others
still
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and contribute as possible as the young.

On the other hand
, there are several arguments against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with the same quality as the young. One main argument is that the elderly face to
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
diseases have impact on their conditions.
Furthermore
, their family members
probably
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can not ensure the safety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment.
For example
, Globalization of the world economy require employers know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a range of modern technology. It is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no chance to win if compare with the young.

In conclusion
, the above mentioned facts that made me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it could have both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should discuss the impact of this issue more.
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IELTS essay Some say old people should continue to work, if their condition allows them to do so

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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