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is it better for students to work before their university study? Do you agree or disagree

is it better for students to work before their university study? KWVYw
I agree that is it better for students to work before their university study. This is because students can earn money to help their finances when students go to university and meet lots of new people. Learning workplace skills are another good reason for students to work early. Some of the people students meet may help find a job when they leave university. irst of all, students who work in the area of the specialized course which they intend to study at a university, will greatly help them in understanding the concepts faster and will score better when compared to the students without job experience. They can correlate the academic lessons with the hands-on knowledge they gained during their employment. This is quite evident when we examine the report, published by University of Michigan that the students who have prior work experience, scored better in their academics when compared to those who doesn’t have job experience.
I
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agree
that is
it better for
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students
to
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work
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before
their
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university
study. This is
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because
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students
can earn money to
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help
their finances when
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students
go to
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university
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
lots of new
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people
. Learning workplace
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skills
are another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
early.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
find a job when they
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leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
irst
of all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the area of the specialized course which they intend to study at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, will
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in understanding the concepts faster and will score better when compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
without job experience. They can correlate the academic lessons with the hands-on knowledge they gained during their employment. This is quite evident when we examine the report, published by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of Michigan that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who have prior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience, scored better in their academics when compared to those who doesn’t have job experience.
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IELTS essay is it better for students to work before their university study?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
156 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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