Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

some pepople say that youngsters should stay with their parents and not to move away. Do you agree or disagree?

some pepople say that youngsters should stay with their parents and not to move away. gWab1
Young generation ought to stay with their parents and do not go away. I don't agree with that notion because the first reason is they want to go abroad for further study and second reason is after completed their study they want to do their dream job. On the one hand the first reason is youngsters want to go abroad for their further study because foreign universities and colleges famous for their quality of education as well as students can learn so many new things while studying. For example, Harvard university last year report says that student can learn time and work management while studying. On other hand youngsters are pationate about their dream job so, after completed graduation they want to do their dream job in reputed multinational company. so, that is located in any city and young adults can easily moved location but if they are stay with their family so it will be difficult to move and settle in new environment for other family member. For instance, Amazon hire it's employee all around the globe so, after graduation student will get chance to do their job in amazon then they need to move in that city where amazon headquater or offices is located. To conclude that youngsters are enthusiastics and passinate about learn new things so, they need to leave their home town and comfort zone and do whatever they dream for.
Young generation ought to stay with their parents and do not go away. I don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
first
reason is they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to go abroad for
further
study and second reason is after completed their study they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
job.

On the one hand the
first
reason is youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to go abroad for their
further
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
foreign universities and colleges
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for their quality of education
as well
as students can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new things while studying.
For example
,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Harvard university
last year report says that student can learn time and work management while studying.

On other hand youngsters are
Possible spelling mistake found.
pationate
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, after completed graduation they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
job in reputed multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, that
is located
in any city and young adults can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
location
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if they are
Consider using a past participle here: "staid", "stayed".
stay
with their family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it will be difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
and settle in new environment for other family member.
For instance
, Amazon hire
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it's
employee all around the globe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, after graduation student will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
chance to do their job
The usual collocation for "amazon" is "on". Did you mean "on amazon"?
in amazon
then they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
in that city where
Possible spelling mistake found.
amazon
Possible spelling mistake found.
headquater
or offices
is located
.
To conclude
that youngsters are
Possible spelling mistake found.
enthusiastics
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
passinate
about learn new things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their home town and comfort zone and do whatever they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
for.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay some pepople say that youngsters should stay with their parents and not to move away.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
235 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6.5band
    should children be encouraged to be competitive or cooperative? state your opinion
    Children being the future are subject to great attention specially during their education days. In this essay I would discuss whether kids should be backed-up to being more competitive or co-operative during their early stage of life. On one hand, coordination and cooperation helps students learn s...
  • 6band
    arranged marriages lead to successful marriages
    As we grow older, marriage has become a common topic to talk about. Since in this day and age, potential soulmates are everywhere. Since marriage is considered important in some families, parents often opted to arrange marriages for their kids. Arranged marriage is a marriage arranged by family memb...
  • 5band
    Write your own reflective essay with details
    To be honest, teacher Rocko’s teaching was interesting and memorable. He used facial expressions, the changing tone in the voice as well as body language to focus on important points. At the same time, this also reminds me of how body language and facial expressions are important in presentation, it...
  • 5band
    a new ways to apply for colleges
    Nowadays, colleges all over the world are introducing new ways for students to apply. All students can apply to colleges by taking aptitude tests such as the National High school exam in Vietnam or the SAT in the United States. Students also use the TOEFL or IELTS in conjunction with application for...
  • 6band
    Some people think that children should learn paint and draw. Others believe that is a waste of time.
    There are conflicting views regarding whether children should learn paint and draw. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and provide my own opinion at the end. Those who think children should not learn subjects like arts may put forth the following argument. They may think arts will n...
  • 5band
    about something you would like to receive from your parents as gift for your coming birthday
    There are many gifts which I would like to receive, but one that I like very much is an iPhone 13. The first time I saw it was on November 2, 2021, on TV. I want to receive it in 2 weeks. The iPhone 13 is a product of Apple. It is the best phone now. It is very modern and very expensive. The cost of...