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should children be encouraged to be competitive or cooperative? state your opinion

should children be encouraged to be competitive or cooperative? state your opinion pKw1m
Children being the future are subject to great attention specially during their education days. In this essay I would discuss whether kids should be backed-up to being more competitive or co-operative during their early stage of life. On one hand, coordination and cooperation helps students learn selflessness and builds up a sense of responsibility and respect for others. Human beings are social animals thus enraging a sense of competition among youngsters would make one standout negatively. As an instance, a kid who always seeks competition in all aspects like education, sports etc. is more likely to be left without any friends. Helping others and learning from them could teach one, a lot about other's perspective towards different problems of life and this in-turn could ease young students into any sort of environment ahead. Although, co-operative nature among students is necessary but keeping a healthy competition is of far greater importance. Children tend to put out more effort and hard work when they are competing against others. For example, a young athlete winning a race would continue to train hard, only if he knows he has won only by a small margin. Challenges and hurdles are always essential to bring out one's true potential in every stage of life especially during early education days. Thus kids having a sense of contest among each other teaches and develops them a lot. To conclude, it is good to teach students about helping and co-operating with others but building up a sense of competition exceeds the benefits. A competing student would always turn out to be the best learner in a group and also would help others grow.
Children being the future are subject to great attention
specially
during their education days. In this essay I would discuss whether kids should
be backed
-up to being more competitive or co-operative during their early stage of life.

On one hand, coordination and cooperation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn selflessness and builds up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sense
of responsibility and respect for others. Human beings are social animals
thus
enraging a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sense
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
among youngsters would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
one standout
negatively
. As an instance, a kid who always seeks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
in all aspects like education, sports etc. is more likely to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
without any friends. Helping others and learning from them could teach one, a lot about other's perspective towards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
problems of life and this in-turn could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
into any sort of environment ahead.

Although, co-operative nature among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
keeping a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
is of far greater importance. Children tend to put out more effort and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work when they are competing against others.
For example
, a young athlete winning a race would continue to train
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if he knows he has won
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
margin. Challenges and hurdles are always essential to bring out one's true potential in every stage of life
especially
during early education days.
Thus
kids having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sense
of contest among each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
teaches and develops them a lot.

To conclude
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about helping and co-operating with others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
building up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sense
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
exceeds the benefits. A competing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
would always turn out to be the best learner in a group and
also
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others grow.
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IELTS essay should children be encouraged to be competitive or cooperative? state your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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