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Some people think that children should learn paint and draw. Others believe that is a waste of time. Discuss both views.

Some people think that children should learn paint and draw. Others believe that is a waste of time. kWoxO
There are conflicting views regarding whether children should learn paint and draw. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and provide my own opinion at the end. Those who think children should not learn subjects like arts may put forth the following argument. They may think arts will not be beneficial to children’s career development in the future because it is much more than difficult for most of people to earn very high income through painting or drawing whereas if they choose majors like engineering and information technology, they can easily get a decent job once they achieve success in academic subjects. However, if they spend more time on arts, their time spent on the these subjects will be reduced which will have a negative impact on their studying. Nevertheless, those who advocate children should be encouraged to learn arts can justify their opinions. Firstly, there is no doubt that arts can not be judged by a fixed answer like the subjects of mathematics or physics, so that children do not have to worry about making mistakes and will try out different ways to express their ideas freely, thinking outside box. In this process, their creativity will be improved which will be translated into the ability to see a problem from different angles, thus enhancing problem-solving skills. Secondly, since children study academic subjects intensively at school, arts can be a good way for them to get relieved from such pressure. In my opinion, it is good for children to learn how to paint and draw since it not only has a positive effect on their childhood but also contributes to their adult life in the future.
There are conflicting views regarding whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
paint and draw. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and provide my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

Those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
may put forth the following argument. They may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
will not be beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
career development in the future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is much more than difficult for most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high income through painting or drawing whereas if they choose majors like engineering and information technology, they can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a decent job once they achieve success in academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
However
, if they spend more time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, their time spent on the these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
which will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on their studying.

Nevertheless
, those who advocate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be encouraged
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
can justify their opinions.
Firstly
, there is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
can not
be judged
by a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
answer like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
of mathematics or physics,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about making mistakes and will try out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways to express their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
freely
, thinking outside box. In this process, their creativity will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
which will
be translated
into the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a problem from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
angles,
thus
enhancing problem-solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Secondly
, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
study academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
intensively
at school,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relieved from such pressure.

In my opinion, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to paint and draw since it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on their childhood
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
contributes to their adult life in the future.
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IELTS essay Some people think that children should learn paint and draw. Others believe that is a waste of time.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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