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Some peopre think thot cullurol lrodilions moy be desfroyed when |hey ore used os rnoney-rnoking oftrocfions oimed of fourisfs. Ofhers believe il rs fhe only woy fo sove fhese frodifions. Discuss on bolh sides ond give your opinion.

Some peopre think thot cullurol lrodilions moy be desfroyed when |hey ore used os rnoney-rnoking oftrocfions oimed of fourisfs. Ofhers believe il rs fhe only woy fo sove fhese frodifions. Discuss on bolh sides ond give your opinion. Nm250
It is irrefutable that cultural traditions attract lure from all over the world and develop local economy. Some individuals are of the opinion that these may be destroyed if they are modified to attract tourists. Others, however, hold the view that if we don't use them for tourism, these cultural attractions will die. ln the following paragraphs, I shall discuss both sides of the argument. l, personally side with the latter view. We have to make these cultural traditions alluring for tourists, because we need tourists. Firstly, tourism boosts our economy and secondly we get a chance to spread our culture to different countries. lf our artists and artisans do not earn money from their art, which depicts our culture and tradition, then this art will die off and we'll only be the losers. Tourism is the backbone of any count4/s economy and every country does its effort to attract tourists. Many people depend on tourism for their livelihood. People in the food industry hotel industry and transport industry depend on tourism. Presentation is very important to attract visitors, and to present nicely some change is unavoidable. On the other hand, when cultural traditions are used as money-making attractions, they lose their original features. Sometimes it makes cultural traditions disappear altogether. However, I believe that culture and tradition are deep rooted and minor superficial changes cannot harm them in any way. Change is the law of nature and all we should look into it that the changes are made with caution to retain the inherent elements of culture. Summing up, to save cultural traditions we need to make some changes to make them captivating to the tourist of today. lf we don't do so we'll lose our cultural traditions altogether and we'll lose our tourists also.
It is irrefutable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attract
lure from all over the world and develop local economy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals are of the opinion that these may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
if they
are modified
to
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attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
. Others,
however
, hold the view that if we don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them for
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tourism
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
attractions will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
ln
the following paragraphs, I shall discuss both sides of the argument.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
l
,
personally
side with the latter view.

We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
alluring for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
,
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because
we need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
.
Firstly
,
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tourism
boosts our economy and
secondly
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to spread our culture to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lf
our artists and artisans do not earn money from their art, which depicts our culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
, then this art will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
off and
we'll
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be the losers.

Tourism is the backbone of any count4/s economy and every country does its effort to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
for their livelihood.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
in the food industry hotel industry and transport industry depend on
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tourism
. Presentation is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
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attract
visitors, and to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
present


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nicely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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change
is unavoidable.

On the other hand
, when
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cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as money-making attractions, they lose their original features.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
disappear altogether.
However
, I believe that culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
deep rooted
and minor superficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
cannot harm them in any way.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Change
is the law of nature and all we should look into it that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
are made
with caution to retain the inherent elements of culture.

Summing up, to save
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cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
we need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them captivating to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lf
we don't do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we'll lose our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
altogether and
we'll lose our tourists

also
.
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IELTS essay Some peopre think thot cullurol lrodilions moy be desfroyed when |hey ore used os rnoney-rnoking oftrocfions oimed of fourisfs. Ofhers believe il rs fhe only woy fo sove fhese frodifions. Discuss on bolh sides ond give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
296 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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