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How to have careers ??????

How to have careers ?????? YBaBn
Many people nowadays choose to move away to work in another place rather than staying in their home town. In my opinion, it is better to move, but some people disagree. In this essay, I will look at both sides and give reasons for my opinion. I have three main reasons for my opinion. My first reason is that that there are some jobs that you can't do unless you move. For example, if you live in a town without an airport you cannot become a pilot. Secondly, working in a new place is very exciting. For instance, you can find out about a new city and a new culture, and you can make new friends. My third reason is that if you get experience working in different places it helps your career. For example, employers in some industries prefer employees who have worked abroad. However, some people think the opposite. They say that in a big city like New York or Dubai there are many career options. For example, you can work in tourism or engineering. Secondly, they claim that you will miss your old friends and your family if you move away. For instance, you will not see your grandparents. Finally, they believe that you know a lot of people in your home town, and that can help you in your career. For example, your friend can recommend a good place to work. In conclusion, I really believe that it is better to move away from your home and get a job in another place. I think that it is the best way to have the job that you want, to have an exciting life, and to succeed in your career (283 words)
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
away to work in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
rather
than staying in their home town. In my opinion, it is better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disagree. In this essay, I will look at both sides and give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for my opinion. I have three main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for my opinion. My
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is
Possible typo: you repeated a word
that that
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
jobs that you can't do unless you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a town without an airport you cannot become a pilot.
Secondly
, working in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
exciting.
For instance
, you can find out about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
city and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
culture, and you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends. My third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
experience working in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, employers in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
industries prefer employees who have worked abroad.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the opposite. They say that in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
York or Dubai there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
options. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, you can work in tourism or engineering.
Secondly
, they claim that you will miss your
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
friends and your family if you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
away.
For instance
, you will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
your grandparents.
Finally
, they believe that you know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in your home town, and that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, your friend can recommend a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to work.
In conclusion
, I
really
believe that it is better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
away from your home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is the best way to have the job that you want, to have an exciting life, and to succeed in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
(283 words)
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IELTS essay How to have careers ??????

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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