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Some people would like to buy and eat their meals at restaurants frequently while others like to do this at home. which do you prefer? why? v.2

Some people would like to buy and eat their meals at restaurants frequently while others like to do this at home. which do you prefer? why? v. 2
One of current affairs that people are dealing with is their diet because eating enough and heathy foods have a crucial effect on our health. Thus, there are recent debates over whether eating in restaurants is a good choice or preparing their food at home. Different people hold various opinions due to their distinct backgrounds and perspectives. Some people may hold the opinion that eating at home have more advantages than going to restaurants for eating food but other have a negative attitude. As a matter of fact, the issue of how and where we should eat our food is so controversial and complicated that it is impossible to find a universal answer to this question. Nevertheless, I endorse that to some extent I am agreed with the opinion of second group that buying and eating our meal have several beneficial effects on our life. In order to substantiate my vantage points, I would like to address some key evidence; eating meal at restaurants saves time, and also; enables us to find new friends and enjoy our life. In the first place, when we choose to buy and eat food at restaurants provides a situation that we could save our time. We live in technology era that we have many competitors and we have so many work to do to for earning money and if we do not do in this way, we would drop behind our competitors. If we eat at restaurants, we would not force to buy food materials, wash dishes any more. For example, I work in a company and I go work from 8 in the morning to 8 in the evening so when I come home, I am so exhausted that I am not able to prepare food. Hence, I go restaurant save my time that I could go to bed early. Along with the same line, another privilege of the aforementioned idea; there are many different kinds of restaurants that we can go so we are able to make new friends and taste different foods such as Italian, Indian, Spanish foods. For instance, there are many restaurants in our state that prepare many kinds of foods from so many diverse parts of the world like French foods. Thereby, many foreign individuals that live in our state go there. Thus, when I go these restaurants, sometimes I make friends with them that I learn new things from them and I have a great time which I enjoy. To put the issue into perspective, by taking into account these entire aspects, advantages in eating at restaurants weight more than preparing foods at home. Generally, eating meal at restaurants is both fun and helpful with our works in the new world.
One of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
affairs that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are dealing with is their diet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
heathy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
have a crucial effect on our health.
Thus
, there are recent debates over whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
choice or preparing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold various opinions due to their distinct backgrounds and perspectives.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may hold the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
at home have more advantages than going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attitude. As a matter of fact, the issue of how and where we should eat our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
controversial and complicated that it is impossible to find a universal answer to this question.
Nevertheless
, I endorse that to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
with the opinion of second group that buying and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
our meal have several beneficial effects on our life. In order to substantiate my vantage points, I would like to address
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
key evidence;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
meal at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and
also
; enables us to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends and enjoy our life.

In the
first
place, when we choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
provides a situation that we could save our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in technology era that we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
competitors and
we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to do to for earning money and if we do not do in this way, we would drop behind our competitors. If we eat at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
, we would not force to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
materials, wash dishes
Did you mean the adverb "anymore"?
any more
.
For example
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and I go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from 8 in the morning to 8 in the evening
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
home, I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
exhausted that I am not able to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Hence
, I go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
save my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that I could go to bed early.

Along with the same line, another privilege of the aforementioned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
; there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
that we can go
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends and taste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
such as Italian, Indian, Spanish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
in our state that prepare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diverse parts of the world like French
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. Thereby,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foreign individuals that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in our state go there.
Thus
, when I go these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends with them that I learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things from them and I have a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which I enjoy.

To put the issue into perspective, by taking into account these entire aspects, advantages in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
weight more than preparing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
at home.
Generally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
meal at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
is both fun and helpful with our works in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
world.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people would like to buy and eat their meals at restaurants frequently while others like to do this at home. which do you prefer? why? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
454 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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