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Some people would like to buy and eat their meals at restaurants frequently while others like to do this at home. which do you prefer? why? v.1

Some people would like to buy and eat their meals at restaurants frequently while others like to do this at home. which do you prefer? why? v. 1
Now-a-days, many countries had made tourism as a side business. People from different states are attracted to tourist places. These contain both merits and demerits. The countries can earn a lot of money and it can often cause environmental damage. To begin with, so many cities are earning a lot of money from travelling, because people often visit showing interest towards interesting places. The public will get occasional holidays every year, and they want to spend the time in a pleasant place with their families. Visiting too many people to a historic spot can increase the income and popularity of that place. For example, in India, Goa is one of the famous region where all the people from different countries to enjoy the climatic conditions, beaches and games. This area is more and more popular because of the migrants interest. By these Goa is becoming a trademark and also excellent in terms of wealth. Finally, visiting has an impact on natural habitat. The population is increasing in large number can cause cultural problems, and risks like erosion, pollution, forest fires, cultural clashes. These causes can be more dangerous to the residents. Health issues can be occurred like asthma, dust allergy, which can lead to death. To the instance, in 2013, huge number of people are migrating to Goa because of its view and speciality. The process of immigration had a huge pact on the local community. To conclude, the travelling source has become the best way to earn income for many villages for its sculpture, however there are more drawbacks like environmental changes.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
-a-days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries had made tourism as a side business.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
states
are attracted
to tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. These contain both merits and demerits. The countries can earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money and it can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
cause environmental damage.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities are earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money from travelling,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
visit showing interest towards interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. The public will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
occasional holidays every year, and they want to spend the time in a pleasant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
with their families. Visiting too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to a historic spot can increase the income and popularity of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
For example
, in India, Goa is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
region where all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries to enjoy the climatic conditions, beaches and games. This area is more and more popular
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the migrants interest. By
Did you mean "this Goa" or "these goas"?
these Goa
is becoming a trademark and
also
excellent in terms of wealth.

Finally
, visiting has an impact on natural habitat. The population is increasing in large number can cause cultural problems, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
like erosion, pollution, forest fires, cultural clashes. These causes can be more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to the residents. Health issues can
be occurred
like asthma, dust allergy, which can lead to death. To the instance, in 2013, huge number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are migrating to Goa
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its view and
Possible spelling mistake. 'speciality' is British English.
speciality
. The process of immigration had a huge pact on the local community.

To conclude
, the travelling source has become the best way to earn income for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
villages for its sculpture,
however
there are more drawbacks like environmental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people would like to buy and eat their meals at restaurants frequently while others like to do this at home. which do you prefer? why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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