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The following bar chart illustrates the mobile phone ownership in ten European countries throughout the year from 2005 to 2010. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown. v.1

The following bar chart illustrates the mobile phone ownership in ten European countries throughout the year from 2005 to 2010. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown. v. 1
Nuclear weapons have been a great source of debate. It is a two-edged sword that can be used to help the prosperity and development of the human race or wipe its existence. Many argue if nuclear power should be put to use as it provides a clean and cheap energy. However, some still worry about the possible side effects and whether the benefits really outweigh the disadvantages. Nuclear weapons are quite dangerous. There is no wonder why people are wary when it comes to them, as they have witnessed firsthand the destruction that it could cause. Hiroshima and Nagasaki, for instance, provide a clear example of what these powers are capable of; pure destruction. It has taken years to fix the damage resulting from the use of such a power. Even though this sort of energy would be used for good purposes and not for war, people seem to be afraid of something going wrong. And it is a justified fear because if something were to go wrong, it would put everyone at risk. However, Does that mean that we should put nuclear power to rest? Personally, I agree that nuclear energy has more advantages to it. As dangerous as it is, it is still an enormous source of power; one that could be used for the benefit of the people. It would be illogical and unfair to dispense such an energy supply, especially when the world is in need of it. Every day the world's sources of energy-represented in fossil fuels-are diminishing with no substitute, renewable energy are needed to keep the world running. Nuclear power, being a renewable source of energy provides a perfect substitute for fossil fuels. Furthermore, it's Eco-friendly, which would keep the environment clean and healthy. It would also be cheaper because of the large economies of scale. From this, it's clear that the perks outweigh the cost. In conclusion, Nuclear energy is a powerful tool. It has been misused, which have made it a cause of fear and destruction rather than a source of evolution and benefits. Nevertheless, that doesn't mean that we shouldn't put it into good use and learn from our mistakes and benefit from it.
Nuclear weapons have been a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of debate. It is a two-edged sword that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the prosperity and development of the human race or wipe its existence.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
argue if nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
put
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
as it provides a clean and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
still
worry about the possible side effects and whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
really
outweigh the disadvantages.

Nuclear weapons are quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
. There is no wonder why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are wary when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to them, as they have witnessed firsthand the destruction that it could cause. Hiroshima and Nagasaki,
for instance
, provide a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example of what these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
powers
are capable of; pure destruction. It has taken years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
the damage resulting from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
.
Even though
this sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
purposes and not for war,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
seem to be afraid of something going
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. And it is a justified fear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if something were to go
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, it would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
put
everyone at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
However
, Does that mean that we should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
put
nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
to rest?

Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
has more advantages to it. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
as it is, it is
still
an enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
; one that could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. It would be illogical and unfair to dispense such an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
supply,
especially
when the world is in need of it. Every day the world's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of energy-represented in fossil fuels-are diminishing with no substitute, renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
are needed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the world running. Nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
, being a renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
provides a perfect substitute for fossil fuels.
Furthermore
, it's Eco-friendly, which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the environment clean and healthy. It would
also
be cheaper
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the large economies of scale. From this, it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the perks outweigh the cost.

In conclusion
, Nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is a powerful tool. It has
been misused
, which have made it a cause of fear and destruction
rather
than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of evolution and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
.
Nevertheless
, that doesn't mean that we shouldn't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
put
it into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and learn from our mistakes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
from it.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The following bar chart illustrates the mobile phone ownership in ten European countries throughout the year from 2005 to 2010. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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