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Some people work for the same organization all their working life. others think it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.15

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. others think it is better to work for different organizations. 15
These days, with the growth of industries and firms, many people are interested in working for these organisations leaving traditional jobs like agriculture. There are many people who worked all their lifetime in a single company. However, some think that organization change for work is better as it provides more opportunities and status. Firstly, working for different organizations during a person's service can build a strong sense of adaptation. What I mean by this is that a person who always look for different opportunities outside world has a chance to adapt with new customs and traditions which can broaden his horizons. Furthermore, it also increases individuality among themselves, for example, last year when Jet Airlines removed most of its employees, some employees bagged new jobs as they have many past experiences. In addition to this, there is a huge probability of salary hike when a person switch job, salary is always an important aspect for the working professional's. Hence, better life along with new work culture makes humans switch Jobs. Turning on to the other side of the argument, some people think that working in the same organization all their lifetimes can help them reach high professional positions in the same company. For instance, Satya Nadella head of Microsoft, has been in the same environment for more than 25 years, which helped him achieve Microsoft's highest position. Many companies always look for people who helped them in the bad times for crucial roles. Moreover, employees build good relationship with the firm they work and the people they work with, this makes people achieve family friends in the process. Generally, the staff who are seniors in the company often feel relaxed as they know all the techniques and rules to finish it in the specified time. To sum up, although working for the same company helps improve the relationship, it is very difficult to achieve dreams. On the other side, people should think of wages and their family before switching to a new organization. In my opinion, I think the positives in the form of huge employment benefits along with building new a profile while working for different firms overcomes the pros of working in the same organization for the rest of the life.
These days, with the growth of industries and firms,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for these
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
leaving traditional jobs like agriculture. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
worked all their lifetime in a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is better as it provides more opportunities and status.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organizations
during a person's service can build a strong sense of adaptation. What I mean by this is that a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
always look for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opportunities outside world has a chance to adapt with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
customs and traditions which can broaden his horizons.
Furthermore
, it
also
increases individuality among themselves,
for example
, last year when Jet Airlines removed most of its employees,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
employees bagged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
jobs as they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Consider using "experiences".
past experiences
.
In addition
to this, there is a huge probability of salary hike when a person switch job, salary is always an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
professional's.
Hence
, better life along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
culture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
humans switch Jobs.

Turning on to the other side of the argument,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in the same
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organization
all their lifetimes can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them reach high professional positions in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
For instance
, Satya
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nadella
head of Microsoft, has been in the same environment for more than 25 years, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
him achieve Microsoft's highest position.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
always look for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
them in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
times for crucial roles.
Moreover
, employees build
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship with the firm they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
achieve family friends in the process.
Generally
, the staff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are seniors in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
feel relaxed as they know all the techniques and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to finish it in the specified time.

To sum up, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the relationship, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to achieve dreams. On the other side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
of wages and their family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
switching to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organization
. In my opinion, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
the positives in the form of huge employment benefits along with building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
a profile while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
firms overcomes the pros of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in the same
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organization
for the rest of the life.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people work for the same organization all their working life. others think it is better to work for different organizations. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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