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Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion 6xNDl
In the contemporary world, everybody has a credit card and an ongoing loan for their personal needs. Looking at this scenario the banks offer schemes to attract the public and make a profit out of them; however, it can be most help full at times of emergency. First, I will discuss the advantages of buying a house on loan, and secondly how risky it is to buy a car or other electronic items on EMI’s through credit card. On the one hand, getting a loan nowadays is very easy if you have the required documents and meet all the eligible criteria. Especially home loans because they for a longer period of time and at a lower rate of interest where you can pay monthly EMI’s. The reason it is best because the land values increases as time pass so by the end of the loan the land values will be much higher that will also cover your interest amount. In Canada, for instance, a survey was conducted by the land revenue minister in 2010 stated that, the people how bought houses on the loan, earned double the amount they paid for their installments. However, it also depends on the location of the houses and market value at that particular area and time. On the other hand, a risk factor for the loan arises when there is no expected profit from the investment. Many of them have\are faced this situation due to pandemic lockdown there was no income for many of the sectors and jobs where the bills and EMI’s never stopped for the asking money. For example, a cab driver took a loan for his new Taxi just before the lockdown started and spent all his savings on the downpayment, now without any income it very difficult for him to pay the EMI’s and also a recent survey showed that 70% people prefer buying cars on EMI’s has now reduced after the lockdown incidents.
In the contemporary world, everybody has a credit card and an ongoing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
for their personal needs. Looking at this scenario the banks offer schemes to attract the public and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a profit out of them;
however
, it can be most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
full at times of emergency.
First
, I will discuss the advantages of buying a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
, and
secondly
how risky it is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a car or other electronic items on EMI’s through credit card.

On the one hand, getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
nowadays is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy if you have the required documents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
all the eligible criteria.
Especially
home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they for a longer period of time and at a lower rate of interest where you can pay monthly EMI’s. The reason it is best
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the land values increases as time pass
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
the land values will be much higher that will
also
cover your interest amount. In Canada,
for instance
, a survey
was conducted
by the land revenue minister in 2010 stated that, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
, earned double the amount they paid for their installments.
However
, it
also
depends on the location of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and market value at that particular area and time.

On the other hand
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
factor for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
arises when there is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
profit from the investment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of them have\
are faced
this situation due to pandemic lockdown there was no income for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the sectors and jobs where the bills and EMI’s never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
for the asking money.
For example
, a cab driver took a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
for his new Taxi
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the lockdown
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
and spent all his savings on the
Did you mean "down payment"?
downpayment
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
without any income
Did you mean "is" or "it is"?
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for him to pay the EMI’s and
also
a recent survey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 70%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer buying cars on EMI’s has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
after the lockdown incidents.
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IELTS essay Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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