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Some people who have been successful in the society don’t attribute their success to the theoretical knowledge they learned from their university. Do you agree that theoretical knowledge is not as valuable as expected?

Some people who have been successful in the society don’t attribute their success to the theoretical knowledge they learned from their university. Do you agree that theoretical knowledge is not as valuable as expected? g5W9A
With the different definitions of success in our society, many factors can be contributed for a person to acquire his glory fame and fortune. The theoretical knowledge learned from their university absolutely isn’t the apparent index. But it’s too rush and careless to conclude that the academy knowledge are invaluable and the university education is so disappointment to fulfill our ambitious. Many industries have the threshold for the outsiders, like the law, the account, the medicine and the medic, the math and the natural science and what have you, but for most of us the university education is the shortcut to step in the specific knowledge domain. The universities even acquired a huge amount of funds to establish the research centers or projects with the help of the private investment and the government for changing the academic idea into the commercial value and training the qualifying employers. There is no doubt that almost all the companies and the research institutions are forced to check the education background for proving their professional ability when recruit the new staff. The theoretical knowledge was accumulated by many generation’s empirical conclusions and creations, and many up-to-date cutting edge theories were written or introduced by the pundit. The only thing you need to do is just hardworking and keep exploring the sea of knowledge. The university’s designed lessons are not just boring and ice-cold words in books as many of us imaged. Except teaching the basic concepts and the systematical knowledge frames, they aim to form the logic brain and supply the efficient and effective ways to solve problems by organizing many activities and teaching tasks, such as practical research reports, group presentation, virtual debate competition and internship. In addition, what we harvest didn’t just the professional skills but also some lifetime friendship when we are immersed in the circle of tutors and pioneers. With the accumulations of working experiences and hardworking, the fledging graduates will more easily win the success they expected. Almost all the governments devote to propaganda the university educations which relatively foster more society elite class. It’s the rare phenomena for the genius like Bill Gates or Steve Jobs ground their university life to halt for building the tech empire. Our parents and the students should keep a clear mind to decide that we need the University theoretical knowledge or not.
With the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
definitions of success in our society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors can
be contributed
for a person to acquire his glory fame and fortune. The theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
learned from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
absolutely
isn’t the apparent index.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it’s too rush and careless
to conclude
that the academy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
are invaluable and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
disappointment to fulfill our ambitious.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
industries have the threshold for the outsiders, like the law, the account, the medicine and the medic, the math and the natural science and what have you,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for most of us the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the shortcut to step in the specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
domain. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
even acquired a huge amount of funds to establish the research centers or projects with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the private investment and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
for changing the academic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
into the commercial value and training the qualifying employers. There is no doubt that almost all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and the research institutions
are forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
background for proving their professional ability when recruit the new staff. The theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
was accumulated
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
generation’s empirical conclusions and creations, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
up-to-date cutting edge theories
were written
or introduced by the pundit. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing you need to do is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
hardworking and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
exploring the sea of knowledge.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university’s
designed lessons are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
boring and ice-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
words in books as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us imaged. Except teaching the basic concepts and the systematical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
frames, they aim to form the logic brain and supply the efficient and effective ways to solve problems by organizing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activities and teaching tasks, such as practical research reports, group presentation, virtual debate competition and internship.
In addition
, what we harvest didn’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lifetime friendship when we
are immersed
in the circle of tutors and pioneers. With the accumulations of working experiences and hardworking, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
fledging
graduates will more
easily
win the success they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
.

Almost all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
devote to propaganda the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educations
which
relatively
foster more society elite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. It’s the rare phenomena for the genius like Bill Gates or Steve Jobs ground their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
life to halt for building the tech empire. Our parents and the students should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
mind to decide that we need the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
or not.
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IELTS essay Some people who have been successful in the society don’t attribute their success to the theoretical knowledge they learned from their university. Do you agree that theoretical knowledge is not as valuable as expected?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
390 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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