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Lots of difficulties mankind will face up to in 2030. Do you agree or disagree?

Lots of difficulties mankind will face up to in 2030. r8GmN
These days the world is changing at an alarming rate. Various inventions are being created day by day. So, what will happen in 2030 years? Try to imagine the world in 10 years period. My world in 2030. It 's a complicated issue to find out. Tremendous changes we will face up to and how these changes will affect us. Now I try to write my imaginations and this essay I will support my opinion with examples. Welcome, the third decade of the twenty-first century, third millennium! In the first place, I describe how the world will look like in 2030. In my view, all countries will be beautiful and good amenities. Magnificent and multistory buildings will be erected. Even country-sides will be beautiful as cities. For example, the roads will be wide as a result of motor vehicles well run. Another one is creating new technologies. Maybe a lot of works will be fulfilled by robots in the world. They will clean rooms, prepare delicious foods, so they help people. As generally known, today the internet is part of life. Subsequently, works in many branches is carried out online, the need for the internet will be increasing even more. The reason for this speed of the internet will be improving. Certainly, these changes influence on development of Uzbekistan. For example, Manny joint ventures will be created in our country. Young people will work at these enterprises and will make more famous Uzbekistan in the world. Uzbekistan has set a great goal. First of all, by 2030 it is planned to bring per capita GDP to a new level and become one of the 50 countries with the most innovative economies in the world. Uzbekistan is developing education programs that are competitive not only in the labor market, but also throughout the world, and is increasing the numbers of programmers, providing young people with the necessary knowledge. Now, the youth of Uzbekistan is very active and know that there is a demand for their intellectual products. Young people also have creative ideas for economic development. By 2030, young people will embody these ideas and make Uzbekistan one of the developed countries of the world. Besides, the number of populations will be increasing over the years. As well as, Muslims make up the majority of the world's populations. Thus, the world will be changing throughout and living conditions will be improving. Now, I am going to write about my surroundings in a 10-year. That year I will have already finished higher education and will be engaged in my profession. During this period I will achieve a multitude of success. I will have received the IELTS certificate. Afterward, I will have studied at Westminster University for some months. I will travel to many countries over the world. Besides, I will have a favorite profession and a dear colleague. I will try to convey to my students the knowledge gained over the years. I provide practical assistance to students so that they acquire sufficient knowledge and become experts in their profession. Also, I will open my study center. And I will gather educated teachers around me. I will give enough knowledge to young people who will come there in search of knowledge. My surroundings have my parents, siblings, family, friends, my colleague, my students. I will make a valuable contribution to science. Thus, I will achieve some of the goals that I have set for myself over the years. Finally, I write about myself. By then, I will be exactly thirty-two years old. I will already be highly educated and began my career. Furthermore, I will have learned Russian and Arabic. I quote the Quran, our Holly book, in Arabic. If I write to my family, I will have a loving family and dear children. I bring up to my children. I teach them verses of the Quran. I will be a loving wife and a loving mother. I will be among the people who have a place in society. What I mean by that is basically, all the things I will manifest in my experience of life. All of my thoughts, feelings, actions, and experiences shape my world. Taking everything into account, I conclude that nothing can remain in one place forever. Everything will change, will be updated and improved. In 2030, many changes will occur in the world and my life. There will probably be difficulties along the way. But with patience and zeal, the intended goal has certainly been achieved
These days the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is changing at an alarming rate. Various inventions are
being created
day by day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, what will happen in 2030 years? Try to imagine the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
in 10 years period. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
in 2030. It 's a complicated issue to find out. Tremendous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
we will face up to and how these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
will affect us.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
I try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
write
my imaginations and this essay I will support my opinion with examples.

Welcome, the third decade of the twenty-
first
century, third millennium! In the
first
place, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
will look like in 2030. In my view, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amenities. Magnificent and multistory buildings will
be erected
. Even country-sides will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
as cities.
For example
, the roads will be wide
as a result
of motor vehicles well run.

Another one is creating new technologies. Maybe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
works will
be fulfilled
by robots in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. They will clean rooms, prepare delicious foods,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

As
generally
known,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
the internet is part of life.
Subsequently
, works in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
branches
is carried
out online, the need for the internet will be increasing even more. The reason for this speed of the internet will be improving.

Certainly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
influence on development of Uzbekistan.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Manny
joint ventures will
be created
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will work at these enterprises and will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Uzbekistan in the world.

Uzbekistan has set a great goal.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, by 2030 it
is planned
to bring per capita GDP to a new level and become one of the 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with the most innovative economies in the world.

Uzbekistan is developing education programs that are competitive not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the labor market,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, and is increasing the numbers of programmers, providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with the necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, the youth of Uzbekistan is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
active and know that there is a demand for their intellectual products.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
have creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
for economic development. By 2030,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will embody these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
Uzbekistan one of the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
of the world.

Besides
, the number of populations will be increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the years.
As well
as, Muslims
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
up the majority of the world's populations.

Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
will be changing throughout and living conditions will be improving.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, I am going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
write
about my surroundings in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
10-year
. That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
I will have already finished higher education and will
be engaged
in my profession. During this period I will achieve a multitude of success. I will have received the IELTS certificate.

Afterward, I will have studied at Westminster University for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
months. I will travel to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the world.

Besides
, I will have a favorite profession and a dear colleague. I will try to convey to my students the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
gained
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the years. I provide practical assistance to students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they acquire sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and become experts in their profession.
Also
, I will open my study center. And I will gather educated teachers around me. I will give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
there in search of knowledge.

My surroundings have my parents, siblings, family, friends, my colleague, my students. I will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a valuable contribution to science.
Thus
, I will achieve
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
goals that I have set for myself
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the years.

Finally
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
write
about myself. By then, I will be exactly thirty-two years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. I will already be
highly
educated and began my career.
Furthermore
, I will have learned Russian and Arabic. I quote the Quran, our Holly book, in Arabic.

If I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
write
to my family, I will have a loving family and dear children. I bring up to my children. I teach them verses of the Quran.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
will be a loving wife and a loving mother.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
will be among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have a place in society.

What I mean by
that is
basically
, all the things I will manifest in my experience of life. All of my thoughts, feelings, actions, and experiences shape my world.

Taking everything into account, I conclude that nothing can remain in one place forever. Everything will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, will
be updated
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
. In 2030,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
will occur in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and my life. There will
probably
be difficulties along the way.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
with patience and zeal, the intended goal has
certainly
been
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
achieved
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IELTS essay Lots of difficulties mankind will face up to in 2030.

Essay
  American English
17 paragraphs
749 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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