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Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.12

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. v. 12
Some people advocate that ex-prisoners can amend themselves to become normal, productive members of society. Personally, I agree with the idea of this statement that allowing such people to share their experiences is the best way to discourage teenagers from breaking laws. There are certainly some reasons why having someone who speaks from their experience is the best method. First and foremost, more obviously, teenagers are more likely to accept advice from people who have been through a lot in life. Reformed offenders can tell youngsters about how they involved in crimes, the dangers of a criminal lifestyle and what life in prison is really like. In this way, they can dispel the criminal mind of adolescents in which will greatly reduce the level of crime in the future and create safety environment for inhabitants. However, the alternatives of using reformed criminals to educate teenagers about the dangers of committing crimes would much less effective. First of all, the option would be for police officers to visit schools and talk to young students. This could be useful information for young students regarding the regulation of laws, but students, more often than not, are unwilling to take advice from the figure of authority. Secondly, the other alternative would be for teachers to spread the consequences of committing crimes. Informative and credible as school teachers are, they are not likely to convince students as they have no experience in that field but theories in which not what students want. In conclusion, although there are two distinctive spectrums to both approaches, I strongly agree that ex-offenders who have become good members of society after serving a prison sentence could help to deter adolescents from committing crimes.
Some
people
advocate that ex-prisoners can amend themselves to become normal, productive members of society.
Personally
, I
agree
with the
idea
of this statement that allowing such
people
to share their experiences is the best way to discourage
teenagers
from breaking laws.

There are
certainly
some
reasons why having someone who speaks from their experience is the best method.
First
and foremost, more
obviously
,
teenagers
are more likely to accept advice from
people
who have been through a lot in life. Reformed offenders can
tell
youngsters about how they involved in
crimes
, the
dangers
of a criminal lifestyle and what life in prison is
really
like. In this way, they can dispel the criminal mind of adolescents in which will
greatly
reduce
the level of
crime
in the future and create safety environment for inhabitants.

However
, the alternatives of using reformed criminals to educate
teenagers
about the
dangers
of committing
crimes
would much less effective.
First of all
, the option would be for police officers to visit schools and talk to young
students
. This could be useful information for young
students
regarding the regulation of laws,
but
students
, more
often
than not, are unwilling to take advice from the figure of authority.
Secondly
, the other alternative would be for teachers to spread the consequences of committing
crimes
. Informative and credible as school teachers are, they are not likely to convince
students
as they have no experience in that field
but
theories in which not what
students
want.

In conclusion
, although there are two distinctive
spectrums
to both approaches, I
strongly
agree
that ex-offenders who have become
good
members of society after serving a prison sentence could
help
to deter adolescents from committing
crimes
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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