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Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.11

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. v. 11
There is no denying that ex-prisoners can become normal, productive members of society. Some people argue that allowing these people to talk to teenagers is the best way of discouraging them from breaking the law. I completely agree with this idea owing to its positive impacts on teenagers' view and absolute advantages over other educational methods. Perhaps the most important reason why reformed offenders are more suitable to talk to teenagers is their background, which make them and their stories more reliant than anyone else. Naturally, teenagers are more likely to accept advice from those who can speak from their own experience. Any wrong ideas about criminals leading glamour lives can be dispelled with the vivid and shocking nature of their stories. For instance, my school holds a course which is under the co-operation with local centers for ex-prisoners each year, and in this way, these people can tell teenagers about how they are involved in a crime, the dangers of committing a crime, and what life in prison is really like. Other alternatives to using reformed prisoners to educate teenagers would be much less effective. One usual option is that the police can visit the classroom and talk to students about the dangers of criminal lifestyles. This might be useful in terms of informing teenagers about what is waiting for law-breakers if they are caught, but young people are often reluctant to receive advice from figures of authority. A second option is for teachers to speak to teenagers, but I do not think that they are considered as a credible source of information. In conclusion, I tend forwards to the idea that choosing people who turn their lives around after serving a prison sentence is the best option to deter teenagers from breaking the law.
There is no denying that ex-prisoners can become normal, productive members of society.
Some
people
argue that allowing these
people
to talk to
teenagers
is the best way of discouraging them from breaking the law. I completely
agree
with this
idea
owing to its
positive
impacts on
teenagers&
#039; view and absolute advantages over other educational methods.

Perhaps the most
important
reason why reformed offenders are more suitable to talk to
teenagers
is their background, which
make
them and their stories more reliant than anyone else.
Naturally
,
teenagers
are more likely to accept advice from those who can speak from their
own
experience. Any
wrong
ideas
about criminals leading glamour
lives
can
be dispelled
with the vivid and shocking nature of their stories.
For instance
, my school holds a course which is under the co-operation with local centers for ex-prisoners each year, and in this way, these
people
can
tell
teenagers
about how they
are involved
in a crime, the
dangers
of committing a crime, and what life in prison is
really
like.

Other alternatives to using reformed prisoners to educate
teenagers
would be much less effective. One usual option is that the police can visit the classroom and talk to students about the
dangers
of criminal lifestyles. This might be useful in terms of informing
teenagers
about what is waiting for law-breakers if they
are caught
,
but
young
people
are
often
reluctant to receive advice from figures of authority. A second option is for teachers to speak to
teenagers
,
but
I do not
think
that they
are considered
as a credible source of information.

In conclusion
, I tend forwards to the
idea
that choosing
people
who turn their
lives
around after serving a prison sentence is the best option to deter
teenagers
from breaking the law.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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