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some people view teenage conflict with their parents as a necessary part of growing up, whilst others see it as something negative which should be avoided Discuss both views and your own opinion? v.1

some people view teenage conflict with their parents as a necessary part of growing up, whilst others see it as something negative which should be avoided v. 1
It is important to consider the effects of conflict between teenagers and their parents. While some believe that conflicts should be avoided, I would argue that they play an important part in the child's development. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument. On the one hand, those who believe teenage conflict is harmful might argue that it might strain relationships between the teenagers and their parents. This is because arguments can cause tensions among members of the family. For instance, If the adolescent is interested in studying something, but the parent is suggesting otherwise could result in a conflict, thus causing tensions. However, this conflict could be avoided if the parent is willing to accept his child's decision. This would result in a healthy relationship in the family. on the other hand, I believe that arguments help in the development of the teenager. This is because arguments can help young people to understand and pick up better habits. For instance, if a teenager is involved in drugs, then a conflict can make him understand the situation better. If there is no conflict they might not understand their wrongdoings. As a result, this can result in them getting into something worse. To summarise, although conflicts can harm relations among family members, the benefits of the development outweigh the negative.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consider the effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflicts
should
be avoided
, I would argue that they play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part in the child's development. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument.

On the one hand, those who believe teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
is harmful might argue that it might strain relationships between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
arguments can cause tensions among members of the family.
For instance
, If the adolescent
is interested
in studying something,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
is suggesting
otherwise
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
,
thus
causing tensions.
However
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
could
be avoided
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
is willing to accept his child's decision. This would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
in a healthy relationship in the family.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand, I believe that arguments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
arguments can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to understand and pick up better habits.
For instance
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
is involved
in drugs, then a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him understand the situation better.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
they might not understand their wrongdoings. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
, this can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
in them getting into something worse.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflicts
can harm relations among family members, the benefits of the development outweigh the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay some people view teenage conflict with their parents as a necessary part of growing up, whilst others see it as something negative which should be avoided v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
222 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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