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some people use public transportation ( buses and subways) to get around a city. others use pricate cars. Which do you prefer ?

some people use public transportation ( buses and subways) to get around a city. others use pricate cars. Which do you prefer? Blwrm
With the rapid development of the economy and advanced technology, scientists have invented a diverse network of transportation accomodating human’s needs for traveling. While some people opt to use public transportation such as buses, subways, others favor private cars for their daily commute. From my perspective, I’d prefer to use my own car rather than public means of transports. The grounds for my point of view shall be discussed in the following essay. The first reason for this is because I am able to exercise great control over time management for commuting on a daily basis. It all comes down to the amount of time waiting at the bus stop since public transports always have a fixed schedule. Although I usually complete all my workload at 12: 00 p. m, I still have to wake up early at 5: 15 a. m to catch the right bus to get to the university. Besides, it is suggested that I take at least three different buses and pass more than five stations to get to my school. This creates a negative impact on my health condition due to sleep deprivation. If I use my car, I will easily reach any destination without spending such a great deal of time and thus improve my sleeping quality. In addition to the reason above, I also believe that driving my private car will help to protect my body from getting exposed to various sources of diseases. According to the recent statistics, there have been more than 100 million cases of Coronavirus positive in 2020 and this number is still rising alarmingly in 2021. As such, the world continues to execute global social distance to debilitate the spread of this lethal virus. Because of containing crowded people from all places, the public transportation environment is reported to be a highly potential source of virus. For this reason, driving my own transport will not only protect myself but also my family from getting contracted with this virus. In conclusion, I’d maintain that I prefer using my car to other types of public transportations regarding an effective time regulation and better health protection.
With the rapid development of the economy and advanced technology, scientists have invented a diverse network of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodating
Possible typo. Did you mean: "human needs"?
human’s needs
for traveling. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
such as buses, subways, others favor private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
for their daily commute. From my perspective, I’d prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
means of transports. The grounds for my point of view shall
be discussed
in the following essay.

The
first
reason for this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I am able to exercise great control over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management for commuting on a daily basis. It all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
down to the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
waiting at the bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transports always have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
schedule. Although I
usually
complete all my workload at 12: 00 p. m, I
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wake up early at 5: 15 a. m to catch the right bus to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to the university.
Besides
, it
is suggested
that I take at least three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
buses and pass more than five stations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to my school. This creates a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on my health condition due to sleep deprivation. If I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
, I will
easily
reach any destination without spending such a great deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my sleeping quality.

In addition
to the reason above, I
also
believe that driving my private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to protect my body from getting exposed to various sources of diseases. According to the recent statistics, there have been more than 100 million cases of Coronavirus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
in 2020 and this number is
still
rising
alarmingly
in 2021. As such, the world continues to execute global social distance to debilitate the spread of this lethal virus.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of containing crowded
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from all places, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
environment
is reported
to be a
highly
potential source of virus.
For this reason
, driving my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
transport will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
protect myself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
my family from getting contracted with this virus.

In conclusion
, I’d maintain that I prefer using my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
to other types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
regarding an effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
regulation and better health protection.
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IELTS essay some people use public transportation ( buses and subways) to get around a city. others use pricate cars. Which do you prefer?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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