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Some people believe that sleeping effects on the spiritual production of one's body whereas others consider it is senseless phenomenon for well being of mental procedures. What extenct do you agree and disagree ?

Some people believe that sleeping effects on the spiritual production of one's body whereas others consider it is senseless phenomenon for well being of mental procedures. What extenct do you agree and disagree? 8ad7r
It is said that amount of sleeping such a fruitful way to improve humans body. But others permanently disapprove those. In the past, scientists were able to more research that how to become slumber to people body. I strongly say that most people are sleeping seven or eight hours a day these days. In the fact that, those begin the day so happily. Because they always sleep on time and in their bed. The habits are pretty beneficial for each person who works every hour, every day at workplace. In consequently, I can say that many businessmen disagree which sleeping seven or eight hours a day. They are constantly complain about idle person. On the internet or in the radio is informing that most people are getting unworkable and put on, for the time being. I did disagree the habits, in advance. Each person should sleep four hours a day and this is plenty of everybody. If we are going to come off, we will not have to sleep anymore. A number of businessmen said that if all of the people sleep on time, they will never fail anything. I would be joyful if I were teach to everybody how to sleep how to relax and how to work at workplace as well.
It
is said
that amount of sleeping such a fruitful way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
humans body.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
others
permanently
disapprove those. In the past, scientists were able to more research that how to become slumber to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
body. I
strongly
say that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are sleeping seven or eight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a day these days. In the fact that, those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
the day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
happily
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
on time and in their bed. The habits are pretty beneficial for each person who works every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
, every day at workplace. In
consequently
, I can say that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
businessmen disagree which sleeping seven or eight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a day. They are
constantly
Consider using a past participle here: "complained".
complain
about idle person. On the internet or in the radio is informing that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting unworkable and put on, for the time being. I did disagree the habits, in advance. Each person should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a day and this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of everybody. If we are going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
off, we will not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
anymore. A number of businessmen said that if
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
on time, they will never fail anything. I would be joyful if I were
Consider using a past participle here: "taught".
teach
to everybody how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
how to relax and how to work at workplace
as well
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that sleeping effects on the spiritual production of one's body whereas others consider it is senseless phenomenon for well being of mental procedures. What extenct do you agree and disagree?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
213 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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