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Some people today believe that the world’s increase in population is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis. Other people believe that world population increase is necessary and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world’s economy and society. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.5

Some people today believe that the world’s increase in population is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis. Other people believe that world population increase is necessary and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world’s economy and society. v. 5
The population of the world is ever growing. Few people have the mindset that burgeoning population will lead to global catastrophe while others have an opposite opinion that proliferation in population will help nation to grow economically. In the following paragraphs intend to write both views with supporting arguments and my perspective. To embark with, impoverished nations are currently facing huge challenges with water, food, poverty and many more and one strong reason for such is, their myriad population. The population increase is not constant around, few countries having a gigantic number of citizens like the continents of Africa. Their life standards are way lower than overall global life standard ration. Although their government receives help from developed countries, It eventually adds up to strain in nation’s condition. In addition, The more inhabitants, the more difficulties for government to manage. On the other hand, many well developed countries are unable to reach their economic potential due to lack of people. Furthermore, a growing population means growing food and other demand, which ultimately lead to financial growth and strong economy, such will lead to a higher standard of living for all citizens. In fact, these countries are facing huge problems of the labour force. However, this problem can be overcome by simple solutions like immigration and importing and exporting goods based on demand. To put this in a nutshell, I believe that the world has a huge number of developing countries and their problem are way higher than other industrialised nations. While developed nations who need population, they always have an option to open their borders for developing countries.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of the world is ever growing. Few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have the mindset that burgeoning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
will lead to global catastrophe while others have an opposite opinion that proliferation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
to grow
economically
. In the following paragraphs intend to write both views with supporting arguments and my perspective.

To embark with, impoverished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are
currently
facing huge challenges with water, food, poverty and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more and one strong reason for such is, their myriad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
increase is not constant around, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
having a gigantic number of citizens like the continents of Africa. Their life standards are way lower than
overall
global life standard ration. Although their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
receives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, It
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
up to strain in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation’s
condition.
In addition
, The more inhabitants, the more difficulties for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to manage.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are unable to reach their economic potential due to lack of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Furthermore
, a growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
means growing food and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
demand, which
ultimately
lead to financial growth and strong economy, such will lead to a higher standard of living for all citizens. In fact, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are facing huge problems of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
force.
However
, this problem can
be overcome
by simple solutions like immigration and importing and exporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
based on demand.

To put this in a nutshell, I believe that the world has a huge number of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and their problem are way higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialised' is British English.
industrialised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. While developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
who need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, they always have an option to open their borders for developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Some people today believe that the world’s increase in population is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis. Other people believe that world population increase is necessary and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world’s economy and society. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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