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Some people today believe that the world s population is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis Other people believe that the world population increase is necessary and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world s economy and soci v.1

Some people today believe that the world s population is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis Other people believe that the world population increase is necessary and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world s economy and soci v. 1
Some people say that the increasing population in most countries nowadays is inconstant, which contributes to a global crisis. Others, however, think that this trend plays an integral role in boosting the prosperity to some nations. In my opinion, while this trend is perhaps beneficial to prevent labour-related problems from happening in the first place, the consequences could be more detrimental. In terms of economic growth, a growing population can be beneficial in some countries because they are less likely to encounter labour-related issues. These issues including the shortage of labour workforce and the expenditure of overseas recruitment could negatively affect the economy. However, the absence of these difficulties could be favourable in saving governmental budget because not only does a crowded population facilitate internal labour sources but it also a decent source of external recruitment towards foreign countries. Apart from the benefit of the increasing population expressed above, I believe that this trend can be even more damaging because of the effect of lacking basic resources. People, living in undeveloped countries, often live under difficult circumstances such as poverty, food scarcity, and the shortage of accommodation. This poses a problem to people’s lives as they experience a substandard living. Thus, if the population keeps increasing in the long term, the consequences would be more devastating. For example, immigrants, who settle down in African countries, are likely to live in slums, which adversely affects their living standard, as the result of lacking residential areas. In conclusion, the world’s population is increasingly evident. Although this benefits the prosperity to some countries due to the sufficiency of the labour workforce, the consequences including the shortage of basic requirements among people such as accommodation can be more damaging.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that the increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
nowadays is inconstant, which contributes to a global crisis. Others,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this trend plays an integral role in boosting the prosperity to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations. In my opinion, while this trend is perhaps beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
Possible spelling mistake found.
labour-related
problems from happening in the
first
place, the consequences could be more detrimental.

In terms of economic growth, a growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
can be beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are less likely to encounter
Possible spelling mistake found.
labour-related
issues. These issues including the shortage of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
workforce and the expenditure of overseas recruitment could
negatively
affect the economy.
However
, the absence of these difficulties could be
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
in saving governmental budget
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does a crowded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
facilitate internal
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
sources
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
a decent source of external recruitment towards foreign countries.

Apart from the benefit of the increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
expressed above, I believe that this trend can be even more damaging
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the effect of lacking basic resources.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
, living in undeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
under difficult circumstances such as poverty, food scarcity, and the shortage of accommodation. This poses a problem to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as they experience a substandard living.
Thus
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
increasing in the long term, the consequences would be more devastating.
For example
, immigrants, who settle down in African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, are likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in slums, which
adversely
affects their living standard, as the result of lacking residential areas.

In conclusion
, the world’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is
increasingly
evident. Although this benefits the prosperity to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
due to the sufficiency of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
workforce, the
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "including". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences including
the shortage of basic requirements among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as accommodation can be more damaging.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people today believe that the world s population is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis Other people believe that the world population increase is necessary and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world s economy and soci v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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