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Some people thinl that parents should teach children how to be good members of society, Others, however, beloeve that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both veiws and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people thinl that parents should teach children how to be good members of society, Others, however, beloeve that school is the place to learn this. v. 1
People argue that parents should be responsible for teaching their children how to be an effective member of the community. However, others believe that the school is the proper place to discuss such principles. In this essay I am going to discuss both points of views and explain why I am considering it as mainly a parent's duty. Children are tomorrow's leaders and the hope to change what is now wrong leading our country to the targeted perfection. Accordingly, they should be raised with morals, good manners, taking responsibility and being loyal to the homeland. From this perspective, there are many requirements to achieve that goal. The experts are divided into two parties: the one who consider it the duty of the parents to teach their offspring to be effective in society to which I am a big fan, and the other party who claims that the school is the right environment to address these problems. The first party argues that no one can ever love a child more than his parents. Therefore, parents exert a huge amount of effort to make sure that their kids are getting the best of everything and that they are ready to face the vast world armed with knowledge both social and scientific to cope with the rapid changes round them and to be an influential citizen in the society. On the other hand, a considerable amount of professionals considers the school with its far better equipment and its diversity is the optimal place for kids to learn how to be potent in their small community as a practice for real life situations. Furthermore, teachers are always there to supervise and modify any big deviation in the attitude of children, such privilege is not possible at home where parents are busy working and cooking. Another thing worth considering is that experience is gained and cannot be easily transferred from one to another, thus leaving children mingling with their peers and teachers learning from their experience as a sort of simulation for reality is necessary. In conclusion, both parents and schools are of great influence on a child's character. Although, parents are the main source of children's behaviour, schools are the place where he learns how to communicate and learns to be effective citizens.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should be responsible for teaching their children how to be an effective member of the community.
However
, others believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the proper place to discuss such principles. In this essay I am going to discuss both points of views and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I am considering it as
mainly
a parent's duty.

Children are tomorrow's leaders and the hope to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
what is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
leading our country to the targeted perfection.
Accordingly
, they should
be raised
with morals,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
manners, taking responsibility and being loyal to the homeland. From this perspective, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
requirements to achieve that goal. The experts
are divided
into two parties: the one who consider it the duty of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to teach their offspring to be effective in society to which I am a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
fan, and the other party who claims that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the right environment to address these problems. The
first
party argues that no one can ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
a child more than his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
exert a huge amount of effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that their kids are getting the best of everything and that they are ready to face the vast world armed with knowledge both social and scientific to cope with the rapid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
round them and to be an influential citizen in the society.

On the other hand
, a considerable amount of professionals considers the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
with its far better equipment and its diversity is the optimal place for kids to learn how to be potent in their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
community as a practice for real life situations.
Furthermore
, teachers are always there to supervise and modify any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
deviation in the attitude of children, such privilege is not possible at home where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are busy working and cooking. Another thing worth considering is that experience
is gained
and cannot be
easily
transferred from one to another,
thus
leaving children mingling with their peers and teachers learning from their experience as a sort of simulation for reality is necessary.

In conclusion
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are of great influence on a child's character. Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the main source of children's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are the place where he learns how to communicate and learns to be effective citizens.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people thinl that parents should teach children how to be good members of society, Others, however, beloeve that school is the place to learn this. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
379 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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