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Some people thinks that modern technology is making them less sociable ,disucss both views and give your opinion ?

Some people thinks that modern technology is making them less sociable, disucss both views and give your opinion? 0pEk5
The importance of technology which was always debatable has now become more controversial with a number of people claiming that this trend make more interactive while other reject this notion. The substantial influence of this trend has sparked the controversy over the potential impact in recent years. In my perspective, former prepostion appears to be more rational. This essay will further elaborate the positive and negative view of the argument and thus will lead to logical conclusion. There are myriad of reason which will further explain this argument but the most preponderand one steams from the fact is that this advancing period associate many technologies to individuals which assist them to stay in contect with their friends, families. this trend also helps them to make new friends, contacts online this teachnological development also assist them to interact with folks of native country and learn about their culture and their languge. For example, Hallo application, Instagram. Another striking reason in this context is that. This online interaction medium is less expensive which always keep folks together at various platforms. However, there are some pitfalls that negate these arguments and which can certainly overwhelm the potential influence of this trend but one of the most alarming one is that techonolgical progression makes people apart at, nowadays people refuse face to face intrections with people. For instance, nowadays everyone has their own smart phones so instead of doing meetings personly individuals prefer to do video calls, phone calls. Besides, Because of technolgical development masses are now become more busy in their own choars, they prefer to choose phone for interaction which keeps the people away from going out. Hence, it is pertinent that the argument in favour of this context is more rational than argument against. However, according to the argument aforementioned above one can reach to a conclusion that the benefits of technological develoment are instrumental indeed. Nevertheless, its potential drawbacks should not be overlooked either.
The importance of technology which was always debatable has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become more controversial with a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claiming that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more interactive while other reject this notion. The substantial influence of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
has sparked the controversy over the potential impact in recent years. In my perspective, former
Possible spelling mistake found.
prepostion
appears to be more rational. This essay will
further
elaborate the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
view of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
and
thus
will lead to logical conclusion. There are myriad of reason which will
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most
Possible spelling mistake found.
preponderand
one steams from the fact is that this advancing period associate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
technologies to individuals which assist them to stay in
Possible spelling mistake found.
contect
with their friends, families.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends, contacts online this
Possible spelling mistake found.
teachnological
development
also
assist them to interact with folks of native country and learn about their culture and their
Possible spelling mistake found.
languge
.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hallo
application, Instagram. Another striking reason in this context is that. This online interaction medium is less expensive which always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
folks together at various platforms.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pitfalls that negate these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arguments
and which can
certainly
overwhelm the potential influence of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one of the most alarming one is that
Possible spelling mistake found.
techonolgical
progression
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
apart at, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
refuse face to face
Possible spelling mistake found.
intrections
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, nowadays everyone has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
smart phones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
instead
of doing meetings
Possible spelling mistake found.
personly
individuals prefer to do video calls, phone calls.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
technolgical
development masses are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become more busy in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
choars
, they prefer to choose phone for interaction which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
away from going out.
Hence
, it is pertinent that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of this context is more rational than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
against.
However
, according to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
aforementioned above one can reach to a conclusion that the benefits of technological
Possible spelling mistake found.
develoment
are instrumental
indeed
.
Nevertheless
, its potential drawbacks should not
be overlooked
either.
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IELTS essay Some people thinks that modern technology is making them less sociable, disucss both views and give your opinion?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
324 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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