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Cases of bullying in school are increasing and worsening. What do you think can be the cause of this? How can we tackle this issue?

Cases of bullying in school are increasing and worsening. What do you think can be the cause of this? How can we tackle this issue? pJKWa
It is undoubtedly true that the number of abusive actions in schools is intensifying. This essay will discuss the contributory factors as well as suggesting viable solutions to this problem. This adverse trend is set by two major reasons regarding the escalation of cyber victimization and shortcomings in education. Firstly, the initial abhorrence among students is worsened by the Internet since bullies can easily harass their victims on social platforms these days. A colored student, for example, is set to be persecuted at school owing to body-shaming pictures posted by an anonymous Facebook account. Another element aggravating school hectoring is the lack of supervision along with education from teachers and parents. If adults allow bullying behaviors to go overlooked and unpunished, their children tend to be either recurrent harassers or helpless victims, who end up getting trapped in the vicious circle of mutual retaliation. As regards the above-mentioned causes, several solutions can be suggested to curb school harassment. The foremost measure is that educators organize anti-bullying programs to raise students’ awareness of abusive actions. Being warned about the downsides of social media as well as seeing the agony of victims, bullies are less inclined to continue bullying incidences. At the same time, those being harassed should voice their suffering to adults so that they can claim retributive justice. Evidently, harassers are discouraged to abuse their peers once being punished by teachers. In conclusion, cyberbullying and the lack of education are mostly responsible for the progression of school harassment these days. Only by changing the mindset of bullies and encouraging victims to stand up can this problem be optimally tackled.
It is
undoubtedly
true that the number of abusive actions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is intensifying. This essay will discuss the contributory factors
as well
as suggesting viable solutions to this problem.

This adverse trend
is set
by two major reasons regarding the escalation of cyber victimization and shortcomings in education.
Firstly
, the initial abhorrence among students
is worsened
by the Internet since bullies can
easily
harass their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victims
on social platforms these days. A colored student,
for example
,
is set
to
be persecuted
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
owing to body-shaming pictures posted by an anonymous Facebook account. Another element aggravating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
hectoring is the lack of supervision along with education from teachers and parents. If adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
bullying behaviors to go overlooked and unpunished, their children tend to be either recurrent harassers or helpless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victims
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up getting trapped in the vicious circle of mutual retaliation.

As regards the above-mentioned causes, several solutions can
be suggested
to curb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
harassment. The foremost measure is that educators organize anti-bullying programs to raise students’ awareness of abusive actions.
Being warned
about the downsides of social media
as well
as seeing the agony of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victims
, bullies are less inclined to continue bullying incidences. At the same time, those
being harassed
should voice their suffering to adults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can claim retributive justice.
Evidently
, harassers
are discouraged
to abuse their peers once
being punished
by teachers.

In conclusion
, cyberbullying and the lack of education are
mostly
responsible for the progression of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
harassment these days.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
by changing the mindset of bullies and encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victims
to stand up can this problem be
optimally
tackled.
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IELTS essay Cases of bullying in school are increasing and worsening. What do you think can be the cause of this? How can we tackle this issue?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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