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Some People Think Young People Are Not Suitable For Important Positions In The Government |

Some People Think Young People Are Not Suitable For Important Positions In The Government | GNLam
Nowadays, the society encounters various rapid changes thanks to a wider range of development. Therefore, some people maintain that in order to catch up with this development, young people should work as a government official, whereas others opine that this is not the best choice for the society. I am personally convinced that young people can exert positive influences on our current society. To embark on, some people think that young people do not have enough experience and knowledge to manage the governmental policies. In order to run /administer a country, people should understand complicated relationship national interests and international developments. Young people lack the experience or knowledge to fully understand this. They are also immature and may take decisions without thinking about the long term. For example, in the name of development, they make take decisions that anger certain sections of the society. Also, they may act harshly towards other countries without comprehending the consequences in the short and long term. Nevertheless, I strongly contend that young people are the most suitable candidates for building a better society. They are young and full of ideas that suit the age we are in. They know what the current society needs. They are familiar with latest technology. They are also healthier than their old counterparts. Consequently, they can work harder and better. People’s needs and wants change with time and need governments that understand. Hence, in my opinion, it is important to have young people in the government in important positions. In conclusion, I firmly believe that young people should occupy pivotal positions in the government because they are better equipped to take the country forward in this era of technological development.
Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
encounters various rapid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
thanks to a wider range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
maintain that in order to catch up with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should work as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
official, whereas others opine that this is not the best choice for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. I am
personally
convinced that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can exert
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influences on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
society.

To embark on,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
experience and knowledge to manage the governmental policies. In order to run /administer a country,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should understand complicated relationship national interests and international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lack the experience or knowledge to
fully
understand this. They are
also
immature and may take decisions without thinking about the long term.
For example
, in the name of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
take decisions that anger certain sections of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Also
, they may act
harshly
towards other countries without comprehending the consequences in the short and long term.

Nevertheless
, I
strongly
contend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the most suitable candidates for building a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. They are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and full of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
that suit the age we are in. They know what the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
needs.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
are familiar with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
technology.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
are
also
healthier than their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
counterparts.
Consequently
, they can work harder and better.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People’s
needs and wants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
with time and need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
that understand.
Hence
, in my opinion, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
positions.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should occupy pivotal positions in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are better equipped to take the country forward in this era of technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
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IELTS essay Some People Think Young People Are Not Suitable For Important Positions In The Government |

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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