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Some people think when a country is developed richly, the extra economic growth cannot make citizens happier. I concede that and, in this essay, I will support my opinion with relevant examples.

Some people think when a country is developed richly, the extra economic growth cannot make citizens happier. I concede that and, in this essay, I will support my opinion with relevant examples. Bg99w
Some people think when a country is developed richly, the extra economic growth cannot make citizens happier. I concede that and, in this essay, I will support my opinion with relevant examples. On the one hand, an over-developed economy cannot give citizens more satisfaction because of the increasing need in society. This means that because of the rising consumption and life standards, many people want to achieve more. However, this problem often brings anxiety and risk rather than making people more satisfied. For example: some people put their money in the stock market and many of them gain nothing and also lose their money. Furthermore, after attaining a stable level of an economy, many residents may not feel delighted by seeing their country’s advancement. For this, they have to find something to make them content, for instance, doing charity work, helping the needy. Therefore, they could find the purpose of their life and joy in their actions. On the other hand, another reason is the lack of personal relationships. If a nation assists its people, they rarely require support from their family relationships. However, for example, during their younger age, they could chase all achievements but it has been noticed that these people often end up in a depressive mood in their later years. Thus, it is clear that the economic progress of a nation may not make people satisfied about it. In conclusion, although the economy is an important part of a country, I think that a nation should focus more on mental fulfilment to bring more satisfaction to citizens.
Some
people
think
when a country
is developed
richly
, the extra economic growth cannot
make
citizens happier. I concede that and, in this essay, I will support my opinion with relevant examples.

On the one hand, an over-developed economy cannot give citizens more satisfaction
because
of the increasing need in society. This means that
because
of the rising consumption and life standards,
many
people
want to achieve more.
However
, this problem
often
brings anxiety and
risk
rather
than making
people
more satisfied.
For example
:
some
people
put their money in the stock market and
many
of them gain nothing and
also
lose their money.
Furthermore
, after attaining a stable level of an economy,
many
residents may not feel delighted by seeing their country’s advancement. For this, they
have to
find something to
make
them content,
for instance
, doing charity work, helping the needy.
Therefore
, they could find the purpose of their life and joy in their actions.

On the other hand
, another reason is the lack of personal relationships. If a nation assists its
people
, they rarely require support from their family relationships.
However
,
for example
, during their younger age, they could chase all achievements
but
it has
been noticed
that these
people
often
end
up in a depressive mood in their later years.
Thus
, it is
clear
that the economic progress of a nation may not
make
people
satisfied about it.

In conclusion
, although the economy is an
important
part of a country, I
think
that a nation should focus more on mental
fulfilment
to bring more satisfaction to citizens.
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IELTS essay Some people think when a country is developed richly, the extra economic growth cannot make citizens happier. I concede that and, in this essay, I will support my opinion with relevant examples.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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