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Should celebrities deserve high salaries?

Should celebrities deserve high salaries? 5LMqV
Many people think that the famous people achieve the high income is fair due to their attempt. However, others believe that superstars today are overpaid in comparison to other careers. This essay below will discuss both two views. To begin with, the famous people could produce an entertainment for the millions of the people, and those people are willing to pay money to see their products. The earnings they earn is their commission for the seeds they have planted along their lives. One clearly example is that a shop assistant is only able to serve one customer at a time, or a professor is capable of present his lecture to 40–80 students at one time. A celebrity, on the other hand, can provide service to tens of millions people at once. They could perform things that other laborers could not. As a result, celebrities are entitled to achieve a higher salary. In addition, the luminaries are giving value to numerous companies by promoting, and they are worthy of their efforts as well. For example, a movie star inspires fan’s support by impacting them through movies or advertising, after that thousands of people could purchase the products from that company. What is more, various of the resentment could arise from thinking that the celebrities had things so easy. However, there is the truth that working in showbiz, or professional sports are completely difficult. They are usually extremely talented, and yet they still work very hard to be perfect and keep on perfecting. For instance, a professional football player such as Leo Messi who is one of the most well-known players in the world, he has earned his position through years of focused discipline, getting up early, practicing when the others were sleeping. Thus, the high paying, and the attention which they received by the general public are reasonable. In contrast, critics are often argued that there are a number of jobs which should deserve higher income than them. For example, firemen, they have to face serious risks in constant schedule such as heat exhaustion, physical and mental health issues. With these dangerous things could lead to a variety of diseases. Consequently, they are more worthy of a high salary than the celebrities who work in a stable condition. Moreover, instead of paying for only one star with a high paid, they should do the charity for the needy people. For the fact that, the celebrities could live in luxurious surroundings, while, numerous people are still living in bad conditions. Thus, they should spend that much money on building a company for the poor person who could work there, or developing a project to help individuals in need. On balance, it is reasonable that the well-known people are deserve a high income because of their efforts. However, there is still a consider that are all the celebrities deserve to the well-paid or not.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
achieve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
income is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
due to their attempt.
However
, others believe that superstars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are overpaid
in comparison
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
careers. This essay below will discuss both two views.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could produce an entertainment for the millions of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to pay money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their products. The earnings they earn is their commission for the seeds they have planted along their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. One
A verb is probably missing after 'clearly'.
clearly example
is that a shop assistant is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
able to serve one customer at a time, or a professor is capable of present his lecture to 40–80 students at one time. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, can provide service to tens of millions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at once. They could perform things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
laborers could not.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are entitled
to achieve a higher salary.

In addition
, the luminaries are giving value to numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
by promoting, and they are worthy of their efforts
as well
.
For example
, a movie star inspires fan’s support by impacting them through movies or advertising, after that thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the products from that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
What is more
, various of the resentment could arise from thinking that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
had things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easy.
However
, there is the truth that working in showbiz, or professional sports are completely difficult. They are
usually
extremely
talented, and
yet
they
still
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to be perfect and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on perfecting.
For instance
, a professional football player such as Leo Messi who is one of the most well-known players in the world, he has earned his position through years of focused discipline, getting up early, practicing when the others were sleeping.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
paying, and the attention which they received by the
Consider using "public".
general public
are reasonable.

In contrast
, critics are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that there are a number of jobs which should deserve higher income than them.
For example
, firemen, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face serious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
in constant schedule such as heat exhaustion, physical and mental health issues. With these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
things could lead to a variety of diseases.
Consequently
, they are more worthy of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salary than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
who work in a stable condition.

Moreover
,
instead
of paying for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one star with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
paid, they should do the charity for the needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. For the fact that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in luxurious surroundings, while, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
still
living in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
conditions.
Thus
, they should spend that much money on building a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for the poor person who could work there, or developing a project to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
individuals in need.

On balance, it is reasonable that the well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
Consider using a past participle here: "deserved".
deserve
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
income
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their efforts.
However
, there is
still
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'consider' is correct. If 'consider' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a consider
that are all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
deserve to the well-paid or not.
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IELTS essay Should celebrities deserve high salaries?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
481 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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