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some people think water pollution is the problem

some people think water pollution is the problem JK07e
Nowadays, pollution is the worst problem of the government around the world, especially water. There are a lot of reasons why clean water becomes worse. People and governments must have plans to solve this matter and help the Earth better than now. In the first place, the primary reason that leads to this issue is about people’s awareness. For example, in fact, someone usually throws garbage into streams, sands in the beaches and so on. Besides, there are companies near river banks that discharge pollutants into these rivers. Because of this, the quantity of water pollution is increasing and affects people’s health. Besides, people are always thinking that solving this matter is an activity which must be done by the government. Just in the same way, governments have to research the plans how to improve this problems and people must do follow these. First, one of the most important steps to solve this matter is raise people’s awareness. For instance, the government should have more rules to ban people who littering in the wrong place and they will be fined if they do not do their right. Besides, collecting and processing trash will be focused. Second, the government to improve pollution, especially water. Finally, the amount of pollutants in industrial activities has to be decreased, too. All in all, the pollution always need solved in the fastest way. We should completely eliminate the cause of pollution and encourage people to decline this issue to make good environment for them.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is the worst problem of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
around the world,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
reasons why clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
becomes worse.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have plans to solve this matter and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the Earth better than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

In the
first
place, the primary reason that leads to this issue is about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
awareness.
For example
, in fact, someone
usually
throws garbage into streams, sands in the beaches and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Besides
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
near river banks that discharge pollutants into these rivers.
Because of this
, the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is increasing and affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are always thinking that solving this matter is an activity which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be done
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
in the same way
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
research the plans how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Did you mean "these"?
this
problems and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do follow these.
First
, one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
steps to solve this matter is raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
awareness.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should have more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who littering in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
place and
they will
be fined
if they do not do their right.
Besides
, collecting and processing trash will
be focused
. Second, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
Finally
, the amount of pollutants in industrial activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be decreased
, too.

All in all, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
always need solved in the fastest way. We should completely eliminate the cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to decline this issue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
environment for them.
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IELTS essay some people think water pollution is the problem

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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