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Some people think watching TV is bad for children in every way. Others think TV has positive effects on children, as they develop to grow up. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think watching TV is bad for children in every way. Others think TV has positive effects on children, as they develop to grow up. 8axEr
Some opine that watching TV develops children positively, whereas others think the opposite. This essay intends to discuss both viewpoints. In my personal opinion television viewing may actually enhance children's intellectual development, but if it is done in limit and the programs children watch are selected wisely by parents. There are many reasons why some people say that watching TV is beneficial for children. Firstly, watching the right kinds of shows increases children's knowledge and so they do better in academics. According to a research, young children who spent a few hours a week watching educational programs such as Sesame Street and Curious George had higher academic test scores 3 years later than those who did not watch educational programs. Secondly, children can be motivated to play sports by watching some sports on TV. Finally, children can learn about different cultures and lifestyles of the world through TV programs. On the other hand, those who say that watching TV is detrimental for children, give their reasons as follows. Firstly, it impacts their health negatively. It reduces their physical activity and turns them into couch potatoes. Apart from causing obesity, too much screen time is also bad for their eyesight. It also impacts their social development as they do not get time to play and socialize. Finally, if the content they watch is not monitored, they may watch shows full of violence and vulgarity, which may be bad for them and affect their psyche. I believe that watching TV is beneficial for children if done in limit. The effects also depend on the content and genre of the programs. Therefore, parents should set the TV time of the children and also select the programs for them. They should preferably watch TV with them, especially educational shows as these may seem boring to the children otherwise. To sum up, I reiterate my view that TV is on the whole advantageous for children. However, the effects of television viewing depend on the program content, genre, and the time limit allocated to TV viewing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
opine that watching TV develops
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
positively
, whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the opposite. This essay intends to discuss both viewpoints. In my personal opinion television viewing may actually enhance children's intellectual development,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if it
is done
in limit and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
are selected
wisely
by parents.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that watching TV is beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Firstly
, watching the right kinds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
increases children's
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
knowledge and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do better in academics. According to a research, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who spent a few hours a week watching educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
such as Sesame Street and Curious George had higher academic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
scores 3 years later than those who did not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
be motivated
to play sports by watching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sports on TV.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can learn about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and lifestyles of the world through TV programs.

On the other hand
, those who say that watching TV is detrimental for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, give their reasons as follows.
Firstly
, it impacts their health
negatively
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
their physical activity and turns them into couch potatoes. Apart from causing obesity, too much screen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for their eyesight. It
also
impacts their social development as they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to play and socialize.
Finally
, if the content they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
is not monitored, they may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
full of violence and vulgarity, which may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for them and affect their psyche.

I believe that watching TV is beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
if done in limit. The effects
also
depend on the content and genre of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
.
Therefore
, parents should set the TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
also
select the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
for them. They should
preferably
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
TV with them,
especially
educational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
as these may seem boring to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
otherwise
.

To sum up, I reiterate my view that TV is
on the whole
advantageous for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
However
, the effects of television viewing depend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
content, genre, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
limit allocated to TV viewing
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IELTS essay Some people think watching TV is bad for children in every way. Others think TV has positive effects on children, as they develop to grow up.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
339 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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