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SOME PEOPLE THINK WATCHING TV AND FILM MAKES CHILDREN MORE CREATIVE. OHERS THINK THAT IT CAN ACTUALLY LOWER THEIR CREATIVITY.

SOME PEOPLE THINK WATCHING TV AND FILM MAKES CHILDREN MORE CREATIVE. OHERS THINK THAT IT CAN ACTUALLY LOWER THEIR CREATIVITY. qL6Ga
Watching TV and films is a spare luxurious time of many families in today's era. About which few people think that making children watch movies and shows will help them be more imaginative. While some of the people might think that spending more time on TV and films will reduce their ability to visualise things efficiently. This essay will discuss both of the above mentioned views in details. Making children watch movies and shows can help broaden up their brain to think with a wider perspective about everything. the reason for this is that when children watch different actvities on a TV, they get to know the World where most of the things work exceptionally than how we treat and teach them in the homes. For instance we get toys for the ittle ones at home and then it is their duty to be creative with it, now here TV can be a great help where there are various baby channels and young children from different parts of the World playing in their own ways. Children are great learners. Thi will help them learn a lot of skills and enhance the way of thinking aswell. for instance, an activity took place by 'kids University' in Australia where they gathered children from different parts of the world to observe their brainstorming skills. It was then evaluated that children with no gazing habits turned out be slow and lazy thinkers while children spending time on the documentaries and cartoons proved themselves to be well versed and with amazing visions. Theresfore, it is a great idea to let the young babies to have their own time with motion pictures. Spending a lot of time in front of the screen can slow down the ability to process by most of the children. This is because screen emits out rays that cen be harmful for the small brains of the children. As witnessed by many American journalists during their survey that children who were continuously in fron of the television screens could not answer the simple questions as efficiently as the children who spent most of their time physically playing did. hence, watching Tv by the little ones is not a good idea. The conclusion can be drawn this that every individual have a separte way of thinking. like few of the people are with a thinking that chidren will be wrongly effected if they watch TV and movies On the other hand quite of the few also think that it can prove to be benificial for the small ones.
Watching TV and films is a spare luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era. About which few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
movies and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
them


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
be
more imaginative. While
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on TV and films will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their ability to
Possible spelling mistake. 'visualise' is British English.
visualise
things
efficiently
.

This essay will discuss both of the above mentioned views in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

Making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
movies and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
broaden up their brain to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
with a wider perspective about everything.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
reason for this is

that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
actvities
on a TV, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know the World where most of the things work
exceptionally
than how we treat and teach them in the homes.

For
The comma is probably missing here: "instance, we".
instance we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
toys for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
ittle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
at home and then it is their duty to be creative with it,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
here TV can be a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
where there are various baby channels and young

children from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the World playing in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ways.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are great learners.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thi
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and enhance the way of thinking
Possible spelling mistake found.
aswell
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, an activity took place by 'kids University' in Australia where they gathered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world to observe their brainstorming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

It was then evaluated that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with no gazing habits turned out be slow and lazy thinkers while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the documentaries and cartoons proved themselves to be

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
well
versed and with amazing visions.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Theresfore
, it is a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the young babies to have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with motion pictures.

Spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of the screen can slow down the ability to process by most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
screen emits out rays that
Possible spelling mistake found.
cen
be harmful for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
brains of the children.

As witnessed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
American journalists during their survey that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who were
continuously
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
fron
of the television screens could not answer the simple questions as
efficiently
as the children

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
who
spent most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
physically
playing did.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
hence
, watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
by the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

The conclusion can
be drawn
this that every individual have a
Possible spelling mistake found.
separte
way of thinking.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
like
few of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are with a thinking that
Possible spelling mistake found.
chidren
will be
wrongly
effected if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
TV and movies

On the other hand
quite of the few
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that it can prove to be
Possible spelling mistake found.
benificial
for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
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With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay SOME PEOPLE THINK WATCHING TV AND FILM MAKES CHILDREN MORE CREATIVE. OHERS THINK THAT IT CAN ACTUALLY LOWER THEIR CREATIVITY.

Essay
  American English
12 paragraphs
425 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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