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Physical education. Yes or No?

Physical education. Yes or No? 8ag3l
There are different opinions about education all around the world. This can be explained by differences in traditions, culture and country needs. Indeed, many people claim that the balance between academic classes and physical education can never be the same. Nowadays, obesity is on the rise and studies affirm that children are up to 40 per cent less active than they were twenty years ago. Lack of safe places for children to play outside and too much time spent playing video games or on mobile phones are often blamed for this. Therefore, there is a greater need than ever before for children to spend time at school doing physical education. Furthermore, several studies attest to the fact that doing physical exercise actually improves academic performance. Whereas, for children who are less academically-minded, there should be a chance to explore other types of vocation not linked directly to academia. On the other hand, there is still an enormous need for more labour in the sectors of STEM ( Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics) and with the growing world population, society is becoming more competitive as a whole, hence the need for good grades and entrance into higher education to find a highly paid job. Others simply argue that it is up to parents to make sure their children have enough exercise, not educational bodies. To sum up, it is undeniabe that sudying core subjects such as mathematics, foreign languages and science, for example, is essential for children to function in today's society. However, we need to give our kids the chance to decide by themselves what they want to do We can't make them become scintists or sportspeople if they don't want to, but we can help them to moderate their time to stay healthy and still be well-educated. I personally believe a balance must be struck in the curriculum and physical education must have a place in children's school life.
There are
different
opinions about
education
all around the world. This can be
explained
by differences in traditions, culture and country
needs
.
Indeed
,
many
people
claim that the balance between academic classes and
physical
education
can never be the same.

Nowadays, obesity is on the rise and studies affirm that
children
are up to 40 per cent less active than they were twenty years ago. Lack of safe places for
children
to play outside and too much time spent playing video games or on mobile phones are
often
blamed for this.
Therefore
, there is a greater
need
than ever
before
for
children
to spend time at school doing
physical
education
.
Furthermore
, several studies attest to the fact that doing
physical
exercise actually
improves
academic performance. Whereas, for
children
who are less
academically
-minded, there should be a chance to explore other types of vocation not linked
directly
to academia.

On the other hand
, there is
still
an enormous
need
for more
labour
in the sectors of STEM
(
Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics) and with the growing world population, society is becoming more competitive as a whole,
hence
the
need
for
good
grades and entrance into higher
education
to find a
highly
paid job. Others
simply
argue that it is up to parents to
make
sure their
children
have
enough
exercise, not educational bodies.

To sum up, it is
undeniabe
that
sudying
core subjects such as mathematics, foreign languages and science,
for example
, is essential for
children
to function in
today
's society.
However
, we
need
to give our kids the chance to decide by themselves what they want to do We can't
make
them become
scintists
or sportspeople if they don't want to,
but
we can
help
them to moderate their time to stay healthy and
still
be well-educated. I
personally
believe a balance
must
be struck
in the curriculum and
physical
education
must
have a place in children's school life.
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You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Physical education. Yes or No?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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