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some people think tv is good for us,while others argues that television has many disadvantages.discuss both views.

some people think tv is good for us, while others argues that television has many disadvantages. m1Po1
Television is very popular in all around the world. Many people believes that television has more advantages, whereas others think that it have more disadvantages. In this essay, i shall explain my point of view by analyzing both sides. Watching television is a good way to relax. it gives more happy and helps to relieve stress and depression. Most of the television programs are interesting and enjoyable. The viewers can select the channels by their own choices. Television channels always providing with news, movies, competition programs, musics, sports, cartoons, natural geographies and so on. In addition, programs can also be informative and educational. it helps to improve our knowledge especially the general knowledge. Moreover, the advertisements can watch through the television channels and can learn more about the product. There are some negative impacts for television in the society. firstly, it mostly affects the children because, the children copy the behavior they see on the screen. This will result as a huge impact in the children and in their future. Secondly, children are less healthy because they spend less time playing. Some of the children are just forgot to have their food and this also will become a negative impact for the child. Thirdly, it is a waste of time. In most cases children are more addicted with television and there educational status is getting drop down. To conclude, television has many benefits like disadvantages. The most problems can be solved by reducing the overuse of television, otherwise children are mostly getting addicted to this. On the other hand the benefits of television are very useful for the educational purposes and to improve the knowledge.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular in all around the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
believes
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has more advantages, whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it have more disadvantages. In this essay,
Did you mean "I"?
i
shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my point of view by analyzing both sides.

Watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to relax.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
gives more happy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and depression. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
programs are interesting and enjoyable. The viewers can select the channels by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
channels always providing with news, movies, competition programs, musics, sports, cartoons, natural geographies and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
In addition
, programs can
also
be informative and educational.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our knowledge
especially
the general knowledge.
Moreover
, the advertisements can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
channels and can learn more about the product.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
in the society.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
, it
mostly
affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
copy the behavior they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on the screen. This will result as a huge impact in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and in their future.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are less healthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they spend less time playing.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
forgot to have their food and this
also
will become a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact for the child.
Thirdly
, it is a waste of time.
In most cases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more addicted with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and there educational status is getting
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "drop".
drop down
.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits like disadvantages. The most problems can
be solved
by reducing the overuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
,
otherwise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
mostly
getting addicted to this.
On the other hand
the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for the educational purposes and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the knowledge.
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IELTS essay some people think tv is good for us, while others argues that television has many disadvantages.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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