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Write about your Hobby and its importance in life

Write about your Hobby and its importance in life KwPBR
I would like to you to tell about something I love doing most, the photography. My interest towards photography started when I visited a photo gallery event organized by my college, I was fascinated about how one can capture nature so beautifully and can make it an ever-lasting memory. After attending the event, I started reading about the photography and various types of photography, the more I read about it, the more I started liking it. At my early stages of photography, I used to capture everything I come across with my mobile camera and thoroughly enjoy it without bothering about the outcome. I enjoyed capturing nature more than capturing people or building and I then I decided to explore more on the nature photography. I started looking for inspiration from photographers who are already pioneers in nature photography and I found them in Hari Menon and Varun Aditya. I really admire the way these two capture the moment and add life to the picture. Later photography has become very important part of my life and has a significant impact. I travelled many places in India exploring many hill stations and nature wonders. My hobby made me to meet many people from different cultural background and helped me to understand people better. I also feel like photography as a stress buster where I go on a photography trip for couple of days whenever I feel stressed. And, after such trips I feel more rejuvenated and more energetic and helped me to perform better at my work place. I really encourage people to have a hobby and work towards developing it and enjoy the process of making yourself master in it.
I would like to you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
about something I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
doing most, the photography.

My interest towards photography
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
when I visited a photo gallery
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
organized by my college, I
was fascinated
about how one can capture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
beautifully
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it an ever-lasting memory. After attending the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
reading about the photography and various types of photography, the more I read about it, the more I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
liking it.

At my early stages of photography, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to capture everything I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across with my mobile camera and
thoroughly
enjoy it without bothering about the outcome. I enjoyed capturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
more than capturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or building and I then I decided to explore more on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
photography. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
looking for inspiration from photographers who are already pioneers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
photography and I found them in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hari
Possible spelling mistake found.
Menon
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Varun
Aditya.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
really
admire the way these two capture the moment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
life to the picture.

Later photography has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of my life and has a significant impact. I travelled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places in India exploring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hill stations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
wonders. My hobby made me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultural background and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
better. I
also
feel like photography as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
buster where I go on a photography trip for
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
days whenever I feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
. And, after such trips I feel more rejuvenated and more energetic and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to perform better at my work place.

I
really
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have a hobby and work towards developing it and enjoy the process of making yourself master in it.
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IELTS essay Write about your Hobby and its importance in life

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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