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Some people think to be successful, one needs a university degree. Other say it is not true. Discuss both the idea and give your opinion

Some people think to be successful, one needs a university degree. Other say it is not true. Discuss both the idea and give your opinion q5bBP
Success usually come to those who are busy looking for it. People think that university degree is necessary to be successful in life whereas some of thinkers support that is false statement. However before commenting on my decision both the opinion would be discussed. This essay will analyze both perspectives. Examining the former view, the primary arguments that university degree is necessary as it would give specialised skills taught in the course. That skill set can be obtained when a person pursue in particular field. By doing that person would get tge knowledge of particular related field. To illustrate, if a person would get proper knowledge about particular course. Furthermore by getting degree the one person gets the exposure of outer world. Socialising with people, competitive environment etc can be achieved by a person if pursuing a university degree. On the other hand the university degree is not needed as the person has some specific set of skills. Some of think that when he already has a ability than he does not need any particular degree. For instance if person is good with work like plumbing, electronics than person does not need any kind of piece of paper called degree. In addition people think if a person can study at home and speciality in specific field or focus on only one particular subject one will definitely get a good result. To conclude. , with the views presented above it is evident that both sides of the argument hold onto their respective position. I clearly favour the idea if obtaining university degree, it can not only about specific skills but also about exposure to outer world.
Success
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to those who are busy looking for it.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is necessary to be successful in life whereas
After 'some of', you should use 'the' ("some of the thinkers") or simply say "some thinkers".
some of thinkers
support
that is
false statement.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
commenting on my decision both the opinion would
be discussed
. This essay will analyze both perspectives. Examining the former view, the primary arguments that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is necessary as it would give
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialised' is British English.
specialised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
taught in the course. That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
set can
be obtained
when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
pursue in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
field. By doing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
tge
knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
related field. To illustrate, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
course.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
by getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
the exposure of outer world.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Socialising' is British English.
Socialising
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, competitive environment etc can
be achieved
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
if pursuing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
.
On the other hand
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is not needed as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific set of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that when he already has
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
ability than he does not need any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
.
For instance
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
with work like plumbing, electronics than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
does not need any kind of piece of paper called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can study at home and
Possible spelling mistake. 'speciality' is British English.
speciality
in specific field or focus on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
subject one will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
result.
To conclude
.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
with the views presented above it is evident that both sides of the argument hold onto their respective position. I
clearly
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
if obtaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
, it can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
about exposure to outer world.
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IELTS essay Some people think to be successful, one needs a university degree. Other say it is not true. Discuss both the idea and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
275 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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