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Some people think they can achieve more when they are with other people. Others think they are more productive when they are alone. What is your opinion? Explain why. v.1

Some people think they can achieve more when they are with other people. Others think they are more productive when they are alone. What is your opinion? Explain why. v. 1
The increase in urban population is one of the most carefully examined areas of our times, which has given birth to various issues faced by us today. This essay begins by exploring the major concern caused by this phenomenon and then submits a viable solution. One of the major issues in terms of increased human growth in cities, is scarcity of natural resources. Put simply, cities allocate resources to meet the demands of their inhabitants based on a set plan prior to their development--resources, including: water, electricity and gasoline are set aside to meet the demands of a limited number of population. With increase in population, the resources become inadequate to meet the demands of an ever growing population. Consequently, urban dwellers suffer due to unavailability of required resources. A major city of Africa, Congo, is a prime example where people are suffering due to shortage of water caused by overpopulation. To tackle this problem government should introduce measures to forecast the maximum capacity of any area to inhabit human population based on available resources. A separate department should be established for documenting and updating current population of any area and strict policies should be in place to ensure that human migration in any area does not exceed its predefined capacity. Moreover, rural areas should be developed to reduce human population growth in urban areas. For instance, Canada has initiated many programs to encourage population growth in rural areas. Such measures will help in retaining the required amount of resources for the city dwellers and would promote an optimal living environment. To conclude, excessive growth in cities is one of the foremost challenges we face and will ultimately deprive cities of its natural resources, but a possible solution is to introduce strict measures to keep the growth within a limited threshold level in cities. It is predicted that the trend of migration to urban areas will increase manifold, however an informed decision of limiting this shift can save humankind from sufferings.
The increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is one of the most
carefully
examined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
of our times, which has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
birth to various issues faced by us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
by exploring the major concern caused by this phenomenon and then submits a viable solution.

One of the major issues in terms of increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, is scarcity of natural resources. Put
simply
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
allocate resources to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the demands of their inhabitants based on a set plan prior to their development--resources, including: water, electricity and gasoline
are set
aside to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the demands of a limited number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. With increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, the resources become inadequate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the demands of an ever growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
dwellers suffer due to unavailability of required resources. A major city of Africa, Congo, is a prime example where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are suffering due to shortage of water caused by overpopulation.

To tackle this problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should introduce measures to forecast the maximum capacity of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
to inhabit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
based on available resources. A separate department should
be established
for documenting and updating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and strict policies should be in place to ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
migration in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
does not exceed its predefined capacity.
Moreover
, rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
should
be developed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
For instance
, Canada has initiated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
programs to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. Such measures will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in retaining the required amount of resources for the city dwellers and would promote an optimal living environment.

To conclude
, excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is one of the foremost challenges we face and will
ultimately
deprive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
of its natural resources,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a possible solution is to introduce strict measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
within a limited threshold level in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. It
is predicted
that the trend of migration to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
will increase manifold,
however
an informed decision of limiting this shift can save humankind from sufferings.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think they can achieve more when they are with other people. Others think they are more productive when they are alone. What is your opinion? Explain why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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