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Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages? v.9

Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. v. 9
Observation has concluded that new technology is helping in many tasks in regular life as well as in these days IT Is important part of business, home, and free time activities. I agree with above notion, it has a large number of advantages than disadvantages. In a further essay I will justify my viewpoint (more advantage) along with certain disadvantage. Among the many benefits of computer technology, perhaps, the most plausible one is related to robotic work. In other words, the robot is vital role play in every field in the new Automotion era, such as job at home as a servant, does an operation or surgery at the hospital. To exemplify, India is the first country who became a robot for uses of operation in Operation theatre and it is successfully done surgery. Furthermore, the second merit of the New technology is relevant to leisure activity. To be precise, mobile phone is part of the information world and it has also helped in search information regarding study or other topic additionally play games, read news on free time. To illustrate, nowadays individuals are whenever getting free time that moment they read newspaper or play games and they can feel relaxed. Thus, the new era has completely changed the world using of the New machinery. However, on the other hand, the foremost demerit of IT is misuse or inappropriate manage. It means, in information globe, all pursue does automation or automatic, so it has possibility to fail work or damage. For example, sometime person does net banking and that moment fails the transaction due to network issues so money block for the some days. In conclusion, IT department has large form of advantage like a robotics and mobile phone but it has also some drawbacks which are not neglected such as inappropriate work.
Observation has concluded that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technology is helping in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tasks in regular life
as well
as in these days IT Is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of business, home, and free time activities. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with above notion, it has
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
advantages than disadvantages. In a
further
essay I will justify my viewpoint (more advantage) along with certain disadvantage.

Among the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of computer technology, perhaps, the most plausible one
is related
to robotic work.
In other words
, the robot is vital
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
role play
in every field in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Possible spelling mistake found.
Automotion
era, such as job at home as a servant, does an operation or surgery at the hospital. To exemplify, India is the
first
country who became a robot for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
of operation in Operation
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
and it is
successfully
done surgery.
Furthermore
, the second merit of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
technology is relevant to leisure activity. To be precise, mobile phone is part of the information world and it has
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in search information regarding study or other topic
additionally
play games, read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on free time. To illustrate, nowadays individuals are whenever getting free time that moment they read newspaper or play
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
games and
they can feel relaxed.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
era has completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the world using of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
machinery.

However
,
on the other hand
, the foremost demerit of IT is misuse or inappropriate manage. It means, in information globe, all pursue does automation or automatic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it has possibility to fail work or damage.
For example
, sometime person does net banking and that moment fails the transaction due to network issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
money block for the
Did you mean "same"?
some
days.

In conclusion
, IT department has large form of advantage like a robotics and mobile phone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks which are not neglected such as inappropriate work.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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