Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

some people think there are lots of negative effects of ads on children, and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people think there are lots of negative effects of ads on children, and should be banned. p5jR0
Advertisements are ubiquitous nowadays. People especially children can easily influenced by the adverts and have vulnerable effect on their mind. However, some individuals clam that promotion of products should be banned but I believe banning is not the solution as it helps the economy of the nation. Admittedly, there are lots of toy companies that promote their stuff on television and on internet to influence the children. Youngsters are not at the age to take wise decisions and are lured by the colors of the toys in the advertisements. Consequently, children pester their parents to buy the thing without knowing the price that will disturb their family budget. Moreover, advertisements of fast food also strikes on youngsters mind to change their eating habit. Marketing level of promoting the brand and their product touches the sky because companies are using famous celebrities to influence children. For example, juveniles do not know that advertising slim-trim models on Macdonald burger hardly ever try to eat themselves. These kind of adverts are detrimental for children health and it should be regulated by the government. However, "every rose is accompanied by the thorns", same is the case with the advertisements. Promoting the product will definitely put negative impact on person's life but it also helps people to give employment that helps to proliferate the wealth of the country, . Furthermore, advertisements also helps to make choices on same product manufactured by the different companies. Positively, it also guide citizens to follow the right path like the advertisement of pulse polio immunization by famous personality Amitabh Bachchan helps a lot of people to bring their children for immunization and other example is female foeticide on television. In this way, advertisements touches social issues. To summarize, advertisements should be regulated and manipulated by the government. Advertising aimed at children should be controlled and are not marketed in a way that tempts children.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
are ubiquitous nowadays.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
easily
influenced by the adverts and have vulnerable effect on their mind.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals clam that promotion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
should
be banned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe banning is not the solution as it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the economy of the nation.

Admittedly
, there are lots of toy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that promote their stuff on television and on internet to influence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Youngsters are not at the age to take wise decisions and
are lured
by the colors of the toys in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
pester their parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the thing without knowing the price that will disturb their family budget.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food
also
strikes on youngsters mind to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their eating habit. Marketing level of promoting the brand and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
touches the sky
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are using
Consider using "celebrities".
famous celebrities
to influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
, juveniles do not know that advertising slim-trim models on Macdonald burger hardly ever try to eat themselves.
Did you mean "this kind" or "These kinds"?
These kind
of adverts are detrimental for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
health and it should
be regulated
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

However
,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
every rose
is accompanied
by the thorns
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, same is the case with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. Promoting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
will definitely put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on person's life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to give employment that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to proliferate the wealth of the country
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
choices on same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
manufactured by the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
Positively
, it
also
Did you mean "guides"?
guide
citizens to follow the right path like the
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
pulse polio immunization by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
personality
Possible spelling mistake found.
Amitabh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bachchan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to bring their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for immunization and other example is female
Possible spelling mistake found.
foeticide
on television. In this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
touches social issues.

To summarize
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
should
be regulated
and manipulated by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. Advertising aimed at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be controlled
and are not marketed in a way that tempts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay some people think there are lots of negative effects of ads on children, and should be banned.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    the best way for employers to make their workforce happy is allow them more flexible working hours. what other measures could be effective?
    Allowing more flexible working hours is the nicer thing that bosses can do to make their employees happy. Personally, I agree that workers should be given flexibility during the working hours. Moreover, there are other measures that can be applied by the managers to make their employees happier. In...
  • 5.5band
    THE PLACE OF TURKS IN WORLD HISTORY
    Turks are one of the oldest nations in history. They established 17 great states in the history of the world. They took an honorable place in history with their culture and civilization. Turkish history is full of golden pages. Our scientists, statesmen and thinkers have produced immortal works. The...
  • 5.5band
    Brief introduction of yourself
    My name is Ruhina Shaikh and I am working in the capacity of Associate in the facilities management division of Merck Pharma which has been outsourced to JLL India. So, I am currently, under the payroll of JLL India and employed for Merck Pharma. Since the time I joined the company, my work has been...
  • 6band
    A number of argue about advertising says ads effect consumers shopping behaviour.
    A number of argue about advertising says ads effect consumers shopping behaviour. That is way, people want to buy something in commercials. On the other hand, others think that this is not true, as a result of there is too much of it, we cannot watch them carefully. I think, both view has some good ...
  • 6band
    Today we are illustrating about how to build igloo from snow. Totally, there are 5 steps in building igloo.
    Today we are illustrating about how to build igloo from snow. Totally, there are 5 steps in building igloo. Firstly, we have to collect hard-packed snow and have to saw them with a snow saw to form ice block. Ideal snow block size would be 15 inches’ height, 3 inches’ length and 8 inches’ breadth. ...
  • 6band
    THE INTERNET IS THE BEST PLACE TO FIND INFORMATION.
    It is considered that the internet is the easiest platform to gather information. I partly agree with the statement because surfing online for information is more convenient, however, the content someone may find over the web is mostly misleading information. To begin with, surfing online is access...