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some people think the olymic games will no longer play an important role in the 21st century. Do you agree or disagree?

some people think the olymic games will no longer play an important role in the 21st century. Gl91g
Many people argue that the Olympic Games will not have any significant importance in the current century. In my personal view, I completely disagree with this statement and in this essay, I will discuss my reasons. First and for most, the main influence of holding the Olympic Games is in bringing different cultures together. People from various backgrounds gather together in a place to compete in athletic competitions and in the meantime, to form friendships that may last forever. This bond is stronger than any political issues between their respective countries' leaders. For example despite the war between Arabs and Israel that has been going for many years, their athletes compete together in a fair and peaceful manner. In addition to the cultural effects, the Olympic Games have also many financial benefits for the host country. These benefits are the result of attracting the attention of people from all over the world, and therefore making that country a hot tourist spot for the next couple of years. Also, it helps many small local businesses to be recognized by visitors and to grow in size and be profitable. Take Brazil for example; the Rio Olympic Games helped to save them from bankruptcy. Other positive influence of the Olympic Games is that it unites the nations together to achieve a common goal. Finally, the entertainment aspects of the Olympic Games is also significant. According to the statistics, provided by the BBC news, the number of people watching the London Olympic Games was record breaking and at the same time, the crime rates decreased dramatically. To sum up, I strongly believe that the Olympic Games are still the most prestigious athletic event all around the world, which possess many cultural and economical effects in the current era.
Many
people
argue that the Olympic
Games
will not have any significant importance in the
current
century. In my personal view, I completely disagree with this statement and in this essay, I will discuss my reasons.
First
and for most, the main influence of holding the Olympic
Games
is in bringing
different
cultures together.
People
from various backgrounds gather together in a place to compete in athletic competitions and in the meantime, to form friendships that may last forever. This bond is stronger than any political issues between their respective countries' leaders.
For example
despite the war between Arabs and Israel that has been going for
many
years, their athletes compete together in a
fair
and peaceful manner.
In addition
to the cultural effects, the Olympic
Games
have
also
many
financial benefits for the host country. These benefits are the result of attracting the attention of
people
from all over the world, and
therefore
making that country a hot tourist spot for the
next
couple of years.
Also
, it
helps
many
small
local businesses to
be recognized
by visitors and to grow in size and be profitable. Take Brazil
for example
; the Rio Olympic
Games
helped
to save them from bankruptcy. Other
positive
influence of the Olympic
Games
is that it unites the nations together to achieve a common goal.
Finally
, the entertainment aspects of the Olympic
Games
is
also
significant. According to the statistics, provided by the BBC news, the number of
people
watching the London Olympic
Games
was
record breaking
and at the same time, the crime rates decreased
dramatically
. To sum up, I
strongly
believe that the Olympic
Games
are
still
the most prestigious athletic
event
all around the world, which possess
many
cultural and economical effects in the
current
era.
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IELTS essay some people think the olymic games will no longer play an important role in the 21st century.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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