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1. [Drug abuse and addiction in children] Teenagers are increasingly becoming drug addicts. What are the causes of this unhealthy development? Suggest some measures to fight this menace.

1. [Drug abuse and addiction in children] Teenagers are increasingly becoming drug addicts. What are the causes of this unhealthy development? Suggest some measures to fight this menace. 1nAKA
In the present day, the rate of drug addiction of teenagers has increased alarmingly. This essay will examine the underlying factors of this unhealthy trend as well as suggesting some solution to fight against this threat. On the one hand, first and foremost, Adolescents have accessed to drugs too early. It may be caused by the lack of security at school and the neighborhood where they live; for instance, it is ubiquitous in several nations that selling drugs and tobaccos in highschool are one of the most significant problems to the latter generation. Moreover, most of the cases about addicted teens are caused by the indulgence and irresponsibility of parents to their kids; consequently, parents could not control what their children are doing and they are too indifferent about the health and safety of the child. On the other hand, to solve these problems, it is no exaggeration to say that education plays an indispensable role to assist children to avoid using and approaching drugs. Each school should have a special class to teach their pupils about the danger of drug addiction and the negative impacts that they may claim; to illustrate, students can spend time acknowledging the consequences of using drugs such as cancer, depression and may lead to death. In the view of the above undesirable impacts and potential solutions, it is reasonable to assume that the percentage of teenagers becoming drug addicts may decline with the help of education and parental support.
In the present day, the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
addiction of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
has increased
alarmingly
. This essay will examine the underlying factors of this unhealthy trend
as well
as suggesting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solution to fight against this threat.

On the one hand,
first
and foremost, Adolescents have accessed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
too early. It may
be caused
by the lack of security at school and the neighborhood where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
;
for instance
, it is ubiquitous in several nations that selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
and tobaccos in
Possible spelling mistake found.
highschool
are one of the most significant problems to the latter generation.
Moreover
, most of the cases about addicted teens
are caused
by the indulgence and irresponsibility of parents to their kids;
consequently
, parents could not control what their children are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
doing and
they are too indifferent about the health and safety of the child.

On the other hand
, to solve these problems, it is no exaggeration to say that education plays an indispensable role to assist children to avoid using and approaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
. Each school should have a special
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
to teach their pupils about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
addiction and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts that they may claim; to illustrate, students can spend time acknowledging the consequences of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
such as cancer, depression and may lead to death.

In the view of the above undesirable impacts and potential solutions, it is reasonable to assume that the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
addicts may decline with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of education and parental support.
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IELTS essay 1. [Drug abuse and addiction in children] Teenagers are increasingly becoming drug addicts. What are the causes of this unhealthy development? Suggest some measures to fight this menace.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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