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Some people think the media should reduce the amount of bad news that they publish because it might discourage people from joining normal activities that involve very little risk. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think the media should reduce the amount of bad news that they publish because it might discourage people from joining normal activities that involve very little risk. gbVM3
In contemporary society, it is generally believed that the press should put a limit on the amount of negative news that they deliver to the public owing to the fact that audiences are demotivated from participating in risk-free activities. From my point of view, I totally concur with this statement. Frequent exposure to negative news on a daily basis would be deleterious to readers. First, when people read bad news too often, they might lose faith in others. In particular, when the media delivers bad scandals about celebrities, they will be under public attack and doubted by many people, especially their fans, who have been supporting them for a long time. It results in that negative news cast a doubt on other people and their relationships would be negatively affected. Second, bad news can promote a sense of insecurity. Particularly, some pieces of information can be distorted and turn misleading. Hence, it makes readers feel confused or over-worried about their regular activities. For instance, a piece of misleading information about the harmful effects of eating tomatoes and eggs together. From the abovementioned practical concerns, the media should obviously restrict bad news. The first reason is promoting economic growth. It makes people less worried about possible dangers around them. Therefore, it also tends to engage in more social activities. Moreover, the consumption demand increases, which will give a boost to production activities and the whole country’s economy. The next reason is reducing the levels of stress when joining daily activities. In addition, people don’t aware of the dangers in their surroundings. Thus, they feel more active and optimistic. As a result, it helps lower the chances of getting stressed or even depressed when they try to immerse themselves in their normal activities, which helps them fully experience their life. Taking everything into consideration, this reinforces my perspective that negative information is harmful to the audiences. Therefore, bad news should be restricted.
In contemporary society, it is
generally
believed that the press should put a limit on the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
that they deliver to the public owing to the fact that audiences
are demotivated
from participating in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
-free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. From my point of view, I
totally
concur with this statement.

Frequent exposure to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on a daily basis would be deleterious to readers.
First
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
, they might lose faith in others.
In particular
, when the media
You should probably use "deliver".
delivers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
scandals about celebrities, they will be under public attack and doubted by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
their fans, who have been supporting them for a long time. It results in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
cast a doubt on other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and their relationships would be
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
can promote a sense of insecurity.
Particularly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pieces of information can
be distorted
and turn misleading.
Hence
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
readers feel confused or over-worried about their regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
For instance
, a piece of misleading information about the harmful effects of eating tomatoes and eggs together.

From the
Possible spelling mistake found.
abovementioned
practical concerns, the media should
obviously
restrict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. The
first
reason is promoting economic growth. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
less worried about possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
around them.
Therefore
, it
also
tends to engage in more social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
Moreover
, the consumption demand increases, which will give a boost to production
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and the whole country’s economy. The
next
reason is reducing the levels of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
when joining daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t aware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
in their surroundings.
Thus
, they feel more active and optimistic.
As a result
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
lower the chances of getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
or even depressed when they try to immerse themselves in their normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them
fully
experience their life.

Taking everything into consideration, this reinforces my perspective that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
information is harmful to the audiences.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
should
be restricted
.
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IELTS essay Some people think the media should reduce the amount of bad news that they publish because it might discourage people from joining normal activities that involve very little risk.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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