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Some people think the main benfit of international coorporation is in protection of the environment, while others think that the main benefit is in the world business. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think the main benfit of international coorporation is in protection of the environment, while others think that the main benefit is in the world business. BJaBp
It is consedried by some individuals that, the prime advantage of global coorporation is in protection of the surroundings, whereas, some schools of thoughts, feel that, the main advantage is in the globe business. This essay will dicuss the related aspects of the both views in detail. To begin with, personally, I think that, the major disadvantage of the international collaboration is the threat to environment. That should be tackle on emergency basis, one of the reason is that a large numbers of people are exploring and exploiting natural resources for the sake of their own benefits, which is damaging the environment on larger extent. A number of countries have setup organizations that are researching on the causes and will proposed solutions to the problmes. For example, the Kyoto traty was signed by many nations, which are members of United Nations and decided that they would not setup any industry that emit more than 5. 2% Carbon Dioxide(CO2). However, the outcome of that traty was not up to the mark at which it should be. On the other hand, plenty of internationl brands expanding their business worldwide that are the source of employment for many people in developing countries. Another evident benefit is to get sufficient labours at cheap rate, for example, on of the biggest tech giant 'Apple' has the majority of its production units in China because of law wages of workers and free if cost electricity provided by Chinese government, thus tremendously helping both countries, as Apple has low production cost and hence have high profit margin, while people of China are getting jobs and their goverment are enjoying tax on the development and sales of each item of products. In conclusion, prime benefit of the internationl collaboration lies in world trade rather than environment. In my opinion, individuals ought to take care of their surrondings during expansion of their respective busniess and adminstrations have to impose a number of rules and regulations in order to protect the environment in long run.
It is
Possible spelling mistake found.
consedried
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals that, the prime advantage of global
Possible spelling mistake found.
coorporation
is in protection of the surroundings, whereas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
schools of thoughts, feel that, the main advantage is in the globe business. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake found.
dicuss
the related aspects of the both views in detail.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, the major disadvantage of the international collaboration is the threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. That should be tackle on emergency basis, one of the reason is that a large
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "number"?
numbers
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are exploring and exploiting natural resources for the sake of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits, which is damaging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
on larger extent. A number of countries
The verb 'set up' is spelled as two words. The noun 'setup' is spelled as one.
have setup
organizations that are researching on the causes and will proposed solutions to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
problmes
.
For example
, the Kyoto
Possible spelling mistake found.
traty
was signed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations, which are members of United Nations and decided that they would not setup any industry that emit more than 5. 2% Carbon Dioxide(CO2).
However
, the outcome of that
Possible spelling mistake found.
traty
was not up to the mark at which it should be.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
internationl
brands expanding their business worldwide that are the source of employment for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
. Another evident benefit is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sufficient
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
rate,
for example
,
Did you mean "one"?
on
of the biggest tech giant 'Apple' has the majority of its production units in China
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of law wages of workers and free if cost electricity provided by Chinese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
thus
tremendously
helping both countries, as Apple has low production cost and
hence
have high profit margin, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of China are getting jobs and their
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
are enjoying tax on the development and sales of each item of products.

In conclusion
, prime benefit of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
internationl
collaboration lies in world trade
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. In my opinion, individuals ought to take care of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
surrondings
during expansion of their respective
Possible spelling mistake found.
busniess
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
adminstrations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
impose a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations in order to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
in long run.
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IELTS essay Some people think the main benfit of international coorporation is in protection of the environment, while others think that the main benefit is in the world business.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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