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Some people think the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment while others think that the main benefits are in the world business Discuss both views and give your opinion v.4

Some people think the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment while others think that the main benefits are in the world business 4
The process of globalisation has brought a huge amount of benefits in many aspects. In my opinion, both environmental protection and global business are benefit from the constantly growing cooperation across the border. On the one hand, with a growing number of countries and multinational organisations engage in, environmental protection has progressed in recent years. To begin with, the international cooperation can unite more governments to deal with some global problems which seems impossible to solve by only one or several countries. For example, by hosting summit conference, each country will be more clear about their responsibilities of curbing greenhouse gas emission, which is an effective way to slow down the pace of global warming. Besides, with more cooperation among scientists and researchers globally, more advanced technologies could be shared to tackle with environmental issues. This practice is helpful especially for those developing countries whose technologies are relatively lagging and environmental problems are more severe. On the other hand, globalisation in terms of economy also benefits world business to great extent. Firstly, international cooperation will make different countries to exert their relevant advantage, which can maximum their potential in economic development. Taking China as an example, the huge population attracts more labour intensive industries such as manufactures to invest in, creating more job opportunities. Furthermore, more international trade activities can accordingly give people more accessibility to enjoy high quality foreign commodities and this can improve people' s living standard and sense of happiness as well. Finally, the global economy will eventually benefits from the increasingly multinational cooperation. In conclusion, environmental protection and business are the two main aspects brought by globalisation, we cannot simply compare them, as they are two totally different domains and both of them are important and obvious.
The process of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
has brought a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects. In my opinion, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
protection and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
business are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
from the
constantly
growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
across the border.

On the one hand, with a growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and multinational
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
engage in,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
protection has progressed in recent years. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
can unite more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
problems which seems impossible to solve by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one or several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For example
, by hosting summit conference, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will be more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
about their responsibilities of curbing greenhouse gas emission, which is an effective way to slow down the pace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming.
Besides
, with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
among scientists and researchers globally, more advanced technologies could
be shared
to tackle with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues. This practice is helpful
especially
for those developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
whose technologies are
relatively
lagging and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems are more severe.

On the other hand
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
in terms of economy
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
world business to great extent.
Firstly
, international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to exert their relevant advantage, which can maximum their potential in economic development. Taking China as an example, the huge population attracts more
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
labour intensive
industries such as manufactures to invest in, creating more job opportunities.
Furthermore
, more international trade activities can
accordingly
give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more accessibility to enjoy high quality foreign commodities and this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s living standard and sense of happiness
as well
.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
economy will
eventually
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "benefit"
benefits
from the
increasingly
multinational cooperation.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
protection and business are the two main aspects brought by
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
, we cannot
simply
compare them, as they are two
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
domains and both of them are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and obvious.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some people think the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment while others think that the main benefits are in the world business 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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