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Some people think the government should pay for healthcare and education, but other people claim that it is the individual’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Some people think the government should pay for healthcare and education, but other people claim that it is the individual’s responsibility. EO0M
Certain number of people believe that the healthcare and education shall be required to pay by the government. Concurrently, another different of crowd declare that those arr his or her own duty. This essay shall sautinise both perspectives, then my own opinion will be illustrated. From one side, educational and health care services may be provided by the governments in free to their citizens. This approach will result in a plethora of benefits for the dwellers of the country. Firstly, considering the health-care system, some low-income families are not able to afford the expenses of chronic diseases. The free health-care may financially relax them, when it is owned by the Government. The Government can accumulate funds from the citizens in the form of tax. Move to the educational facilities, if the Government provided free education, everyone will have the opportunity to be educated, no matter they are from a poor or rich background. This will ensure guaranteed education for every child. Consequently, each pupil will get employment opportunities. For example, almost all developed countries have adopted this approach. They collect money for unpaid educational and health services through taxation. If the healthcare and education system are funded by the government, it will welfare the people and advance the country itself. Meanwhile, from the other side, Some people claim that, health and education is a personal matter as it is the responsibility of each individual to maintain own their health and education. They think it is unfair because some people might be working hard and paid a large amount of taxes, but others might be indolent or jobless and get the same benefits from the government. Although, free medical service makes some people irresponsible of their health condition. It is believed that expensive health care would force people to follow a strict life style and quit smoking and drinking. It is also unfair for the governments. For instance, the government can spend a large chunk of the national budget on these services whereas they can use it to improve infrastructure or solve current environmental problems. Apart from this, people will overuse the facilities and will create the problem for them who are emergency in case of medical issues. Although free education will employ citizens, it will also increase unemployment because the resources are limited on the globe. Weighing up both sides of the argument, healthcare and education are fundamental rights of citizens, and the government must ensure these two rights to them to fulfil its obligation to the nation and to help the country develop. Notwithstanding, with the implementation of the said measures there would be no burden on either the government or individuals. Both the government and individuals can go hand in hand to cope with this and build an enlightened and healthy nation.
Certain number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the healthcare and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
shall
be required
to pay by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Concurrently
, another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
of crowd declare that those arr
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
duty. This essay shall
Possible spelling mistake found.
sautinise
both perspectives, then my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion will
be illustrated
.

From one side, educational and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
may
be provided
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
. This approach will result in a plethora of benefits for the dwellers of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Firstly
, considering the health-care system,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
low-income families are not able to afford the expenses of chronic diseases. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
health-care may
financially
relax them, when it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
can accumulate funds from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
in the form of tax.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Move
to the educational facilities, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, everyone will have the opportunity to
be educated
, no matter they are from a poor or rich background. This will ensure guaranteed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for every child.
Consequently
, each pupil will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employment opportunities.
For example
, almost all developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have adopted this approach. They collect money for unpaid educational and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
through taxation. If the healthcare and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system
are funded
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, it
The word 'welfare' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
will welfare
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and advance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
itself.

Meanwhile, from the other side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a personal matter as it is the responsibility of each individual to maintain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is unfair
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might be working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and paid a large amount of taxes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others might be indolent or jobless and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the same benefits from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
irresponsible of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
condition. It
is believed
that expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care would force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to follow a strict life style and quit smoking and drinking. It is
also
unfair for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can spend a large chunk of the national budget on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
whereas they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
infrastructure or solve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
environmental problems. Apart from this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will overuse the facilities and will create the problem for them who are emergency in case of medical issues. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
will employ
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
, it will
also
increase unemployment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the resources
are limited
on the globe.

Weighing up both sides of the argument, healthcare and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are fundamental rights of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure these two rights to them to fulfil its obligation to the nation and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
develop. Notwithstanding, with the implementation of the said measures there would be no burden on either the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
or individuals. Both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and individuals can go hand in hand to cope with this and build an enlightened and healthy nation.
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IELTS essay Some people think the government should pay for healthcare and education, but other people claim that it is the individual’s responsibility.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
464 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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