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Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. 7X66
Nowadays, people think that letting children do decision making in their everyday life would turn into a environment were a person would focus on themselves. While others sees it in a different light. Their are certain parents that do not allow children make their own decisions. They think that children would turn selfish ones they are given the authority. Reasons could be that children can grow up being self reliant were others opinion would not matter anymore. Another, would be on how their perspective in people could change. Since they are independent people they would think that those who seek for assistance or guidance are weak people. Lastly, parents would have difficulties understanding their child's preference or attitude which can result to misunderstandings. Though, their are parents who believes in giving children freedom in decision making. They think that by doing theses, it will allow children to learn and adapt to the world without being validated by others. They would develop skills that are seldom taught in schools and be able to use in their everyday living. I believe that allowing children to make decisions are relevant and important, since these will help them achieve goals to be better. Being independent is also a good thing as these will further help a child in the future.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that letting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
in their everyday life would turn into
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
environment were a person would focus on themselves.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
it in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
light.

Did you mean "there"?
Their
are certain parents that do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would turn selfish ones they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the authority. Reasons could be that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can grow up being
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self reliant
were others opinion would not matter anymore. Another, would be on how their perspective in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. Since they are independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that those who seek for assistance or guidance are weak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Lastly
, parents would have difficulties understanding their child's preference or attitude which can result to misunderstandings.

“Though” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Though
,
Did you mean "there"?
their
are parents who
Did you mean "believe"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'parents' should be used.
believes
in giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
freedom in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that by doing theses, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn and adapt to the world without
being validated
by others. They would develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that are seldom taught in schools and be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in their everyday living.

I believe that allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
are relevant and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, since these will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them achieve goals to be better. Being independent is
also
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing as these will
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a child in the future.

IELTS essay Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
216 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.