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Some people believe that it is best vision accept a bad situation, such as unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

Some people believe that it is best vision accept a bad situation, such as unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion POAJ
Nowadays there is a stiff competition in every field of life, rather it be education or job placement or ownership of a big house. However, most of the people and unsatisfied with their jobs and find themselves with poverty, but they accept the situation and move on. Others argue that they should attempt to improve the situation. Both the views will be vindicated below On one hand people, people tend to find satisfaction in their bad situations, rather it be unsatisfactory job or economic crisis. In fact, the reason why they don't want to change things is that, they have a fear that, they might lose their existing work and end up having nothing. For example, if a person has a job of security guard and can't find other profession due to the lack of education, he will try to adjust in that job, so that he can feed himself and his family. On the other hand, there are lots of people who try to improve the current situation and get a better future than others. Also, there are ways to improve one's status. firstly one should find an alternative part time job, untill they get a permanent full-time job, second they can freelance on website that provides online work as per their skills, and the last but not the least one should always upgrade their skill as per the modern world. In this way people can overcome their problems and can get better life in the best future. To recapitulate, I believe that people should always try to improve a bad situation in order to have a better life.
Nowadays there is a stiff competition in every field of life,
rather
it
Did you mean "is"?
be
education or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
placement or ownership of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
However
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and unsatisfied with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
themselves with poverty,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they accept the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on. Others argue that they should attempt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
. Both the views will
be vindicated
below

On one hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
satisfaction in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
,
rather
it
Did you mean "is"?
be
unsatisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or economic crisis. In fact, the reason why they don't want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
things is that, they have a fear that, they might lose their existing work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up having nothing.
For example
, if a person has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
of security guard and can't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
profession due to the lack of education, he will try to adjust in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that he can feed himself and his family.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better future than others.
Also
, there are ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
one's status.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
one should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
an alternative
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
untill
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a permanent full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, second they can freelance on website that provides online work as per their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and the last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least one should always upgrade their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
as per the modern world. In this way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can overcome their problems and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better life in the best future.

To recapitulate, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should always try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
in order to have a better life.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best vision accept a bad situation, such as unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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