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Some people think the government should not spend on international aid because there are disadvantaged people in their country, such as the unemployed and homeless. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think the government should not spend on international aid because there are disadvantaged people in their country, such as the unemployed and homeless. P9VE
Nowadays, international relationships between countries are crucial in modern political life, so more and more of them spending funds on international aid. Some say, it is making citizens poorer, unemployed or they may become homeless, however, I would disagree with that statement. Firstly, develop a gorgeous relationship with another country is one of the crucial things to do. Co-operation in many branches of the economy may attract great investors, in conclusion, create new places of work and increase the budget of the country. Business between Israel and the US could be a great example, where all parts of Israel's economy are integrated into the US. As a result, from 1958, when Israel declared independence, they become one of the wealthiest country in the Middle East. Secondly, with modern tourism development, numerous people prefer spending their holidays abroad rather than in their own country and to make this possible strong relation are required. A visa-free regime is a glorious possibility to satisfy citizens, but to do that some funds should be spent. Relations between Ukraine and the EU may show that despite the hard situation inside Ukraine they made a visa-free regime possible and made the social situation in the country better. To conclude, with modern international political life making strong relations is crucial for the stable development of countries. Moreover, spend money on international aid may help not only increase the social level of life but, what is much more important, to make countries economically strong and independent.
Nowadays,
international
relationships between
countries
are crucial in modern political life,
so
more and more of them spending funds on
international
aid.
Some
say, it is making citizens poorer,
unemployed or
they may become homeless,
however
, I would disagree with that statement.

Firstly
, develop a gorgeous relationship with another
country
is one of the crucial things to do. Co-operation in
many
branches of the economy may attract great investors,
in conclusion
, create new places of work and increase the budget of the
country
. Business between Israel and the US could be a great example, where all parts of Israel's economy
are integrated
into the US.
As a result
, from 1958, when Israel declared independence, they become one of the wealthiest
country
in the Middle East.

Secondly
, with modern tourism development, numerous
people
prefer spending their holidays abroad
rather
than in their
own
country
and to
make
this possible strong relation
are required
. A visa-free regime is a glorious possibility to satisfy citizens,
but
to do that
some
funds should
be spent
. Relations between Ukraine and the EU may
show
that despite the
hard
situation inside Ukraine they made a visa-free regime possible and made the social situation in the
country
better.

To conclude
, with modern
international
political life making strong relations is crucial for the stable development of
countries
.
Moreover
, spend money on
international
aid may
help
not
only
increase the social level of life
but
, what is much more
important
, to
make
countries
economically
strong and independent.
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IELTS essay Some people think the government should not spend on international aid because there are disadvantaged people in their country, such as the unemployed and homeless.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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