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Some people think the government should increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles in order to solve environment problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think the government should increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles in order to solve environment problems. v. 1
Vehicles have caused enormous pollution in the cities as of late. Few Individuals opine, that the higher officials should shoot up the prices of fuel for automobiles and other commercial vehicles in order to solve problems of the environment. I agree that representatives of the country should raise the cost of both petrol and diesel to cope the effect of environmental contamination. Firstly, due to the increase in the population of the city, a lot of people are affording vehicles nowadays and the emissions from the cars is further creating air pollution which in turn is causing serious health problems to the citizens. Secondly, the roads are always congested with cars, buses, trucks in the city because the pavements are not quite wide. In addition, the contaminated substances are also emitted, by the industries that is why there is a high percentage of those in the atmosphere. For example, a survey report submitted by the Intelligence Bureau in Denmark, stated that about 75% of contamination in the air was controlled after increasing the fares of fuel to a greater extent to tackle the issue of environmental safety. In contrast, the ruling representatives of the kingdom should launch modern electric cars and bikes, which will help to eradicate the serious environmental damage to some extent. Furthermore, the level of emissions should be tested for all vehicles to ensure the safety of the surroundings. To illustrate, a survey report submitted by the agency stated in France, that there was about 95% reduction in air residuals after introducing non fuel vehicles. To conclude, automobiles have caused enormous pollutants in all the metropolitan cities which is posing as a threat to our planet earth. I completely agree, that the ruling party of the country should level up the cost of the petrol to minimise the effects of the environmental pollution.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Vehicles
have caused enormous pollution in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
as of late. Few Individuals opine, that the higher officials should shoot up the prices of fuel for automobiles and other commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
in order to solve problems of the environment. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that representatives of the country should raise the cost of both petrol and diesel to cope the effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
contamination.

Firstly
, due to the increase in the population of the city,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are affording
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
nowadays and the emissions from the cars is
further
creating air pollution which in turn is causing serious health problems to the citizens.
Secondly
, the roads are always congested with cars, buses, trucks in the city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the pavements are not quite wide.
In addition
, the contaminated substances are
also
emitted, by the industries
that is
why there is a high percentage of those in the atmosphere.
For example
, a survey report submitted by the Intelligence Bureau in Denmark, stated that about 75% of contamination in the air
was controlled
after increasing the fares of fuel to a greater extent to tackle the issue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
safety.

In contrast
, the ruling representatives of the kingdom should launch modern electric cars and bikes, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to eradicate the serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
damage to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
Furthermore
, the level of emissions should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
to ensure the safety of the surroundings. To illustrate, a survey report submitted by the agency stated in France, that there was about 95% reduction in air residuals after introducing non fuel vehicles.

To conclude
, automobiles have caused enormous pollutants in all the metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
which is posing as a threat to our planet earth. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, that the ruling party of the country should level up the cost of the petrol to
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the effects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
pollution.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
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IELTS essay Some people think the government should increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles in order to solve environment problems. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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