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Some people think the government should act to decide how people live in order to make a healthier life. Others think individuals should decide their own lifestyle.what do you concern about? discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think the government should act to decide how people live in order to make a healthier life. Others think individuals should decide their own lifestyle. what do you concern about? discuss both views and give your opinion mWOmr
There is no doubt that the secret of staying healthy is following a healthy lifestyle. While some people believe that it is the government 's responsibility to ensure that their citizens stay healthy, others argue that it is the responsibility of concerned individuals. In this essay, I will look into both sides of the argument and give my ideas in the paragraphs below. On the one hand, it is possible to say that the government plays an essential role to ensure the well being of their inhabitants. First and foremost, the government can support and motivate individuals to pursue a healthy lifestyle by imposing heavy taxes on unhealthy food or subsidizing healthy food. More specifically, the Vietnamese government has introduced a policy to encourage people to do exercises at home to protect their health and fight the covid-19 epidemic and the Sweden government also offers subsidized healthy food to encourage their citizens. Secondly, the government can reduce the number of cases of heart attacks, obesity and cancer. For instance, the Us is one of 10 countries with the highest proportion of overweight people in the world due to eating a huge amount of fast food. As a consequence, if the American government finds a way to limit people from eating fast food, their health will improve and also reduce the number of people who die from disease. Furthermore, staying healthy is a valuable remedy to help humans prolong their life. On the other hand, individuals should be made responsible and accountable for their health because I believe that although the government encourages people to live healthy, they themselves are not aware of the benefits of that and do not anticipate the consequences if they do not stay healthy, the initiative from the government will either be ineffective or bear very less effect. In other words, when individuals do not consider a healthy lifestyle as their priority and do not even appreciate the fact that following a healthy lifestyle makes them feel better, they will still live their own way of life. In conclusion, the responsibility of following a healthy lifestyle should rest on individuals, while the government supports and motivates them.
There is no doubt that the secret of staying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
is following a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
's responsibility to ensure that their citizens stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
, others argue that it is the responsibility of concerned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. In this essay, I will look into both sides of the argument and give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in the paragraphs below.

On the one hand, it is possible to say that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
plays an essential role to ensure the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of their inhabitants.
First
and foremost, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can support and motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to pursue a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
by imposing heavy taxes on unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
or subsidizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. More
specifically
, the Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has introduced a policy to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do exercises at home to protect their health and fight the
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid-19
epidemic and the Sweden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
also
offers subsidized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to encourage their citizens.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of cases of heart attacks, obesity and cancer.
For instance
,
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "Us"?
the Us
is one of 10 countries with the highest proportion of overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world due to eating a huge amount of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. As a consequence, if the American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
finds a way to limit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, their health will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
from disease.
Furthermore
, staying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
is a valuable remedy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
humans prolong their life.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should
be made
responsible and accountable for their health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I believe that although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
, they themselves are not aware of the benefits of that and do not anticipate the consequences if they do not stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
, the initiative from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will either be ineffective or bear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less effect.
In other words
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
do not consider a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
as their priority and do not even appreciate the fact that following a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them feel better, they will
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way of life.

In conclusion
, the responsibility of following a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
should rest on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
supports and motivates them.
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IELTS essay Some people think the government should act to decide how people live in order to make a healthier life. Others think individuals should decide their own lifestyle. what do you concern about? discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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