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Open accessed information

Open accessed information qLK2X
Some data and information in scientific research, business, and academic world should be able openly accessed as much as possible for a group of people, while the other group said that there must be some part of those information that is too important and highly valued to be opened in public. In my point of view, the latter opinion is more reasonable because there is no guarantee that there will be no bad people with bad intention misused this opportunity. It is understandable that in this global era, where big data analysis becoming one of the most valued skill to have, scientists wish the integration of data and information for the sake of better research. This is such a good way to open some opportunity to do joined research even among different kind of research fields. Moreover, combining idea or assembling groups of scientists might boost the speed of scientific development in every aspect in Humaniores, Natural scientist, even for the sake of business world. For example, the free access data of Covid-19 give a chance for researcher from Biology and Mathematics to collaborate and produce better mathematical modelling in prediction There must be a strong assumption for those advantage to be happened, that there are no bad intensions from those who collect the information. This kind of assumption is almost impossible to hold since people never know how corrupted someone’s mind could become once they hold such important information. In these modern area, data and information can be as powerful as the deadliest weapon in the earth. People with bad attention might create chaos in the world, that even lead to the world war. For instance, if the very same data of all Covid-19 patients are leaked, then a bad guy might use it for their own advantage by sell this information so the third party will also take the advantage to overpower other country. To be concluded, the access to data and research results are very useful for a group of people, especially in the sense of building some occasion of joined research. But the security must be held first, so there are people who suggest some limitations. I would rather avoid some greater risks by choosing only some data and information that convenience to be collected freely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
, business, and academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
should be able
openly
accessed as much as possible for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, while the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
said that there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that is
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
highly
valued to
be opened
in public. In my point of view, the latter opinion is more reasonable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no guarantee that there will be no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
intention misused this opportunity.

It is understandable that in this global era, where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
analysis becoming one of the most valued
Please check whether a plural form of 'skill' should be used.
skill
to have, scientists wish the integration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
for the sake of better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
. This is such a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to open
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opportunity to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
even among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
fields.
Moreover
, combining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
or assembling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
of scientists might boost the speed of scientific development in every aspect in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Humaniores
, Natural scientist, even for the sake of business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
For example
, the free access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
of Covid-19 give a chance for researcher from Biology and Mathematics to collaborate and produce better mathematical modelling in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
prediction


There
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a strong assumption for those advantage to
be happened
, that there are no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
Possible spelling mistake found.
intensions
from those who collect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. This kind of assumption is almost impossible to hold since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
never know how corrupted someone’s mind could become once they hold such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. In these modern area,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can be as powerful as the deadliest weapon in the earth.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
attention might create chaos in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, that even lead to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
war.
For instance
, if the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
of all Covid-19 patients
are leaked
, then a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
guy might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantage by sell this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the third party will
also
take the advantage to overpower other country.

To
be concluded
, the access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
results are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
in the sense of building
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
occasion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the security
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be held
first
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limitations. I would
rather
avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
greater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
by choosing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that convenience to
be collected
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
freely
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IELTS essay Open accessed information

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
379 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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