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Some people think the cheap air flight gives ordinary people more freedom. However, others think the cheap air flight should be banned because it pollutes the air and brings many other problems. v.6

Some people think the cheap air flight gives ordinary people more freedom. However, others think the cheap air flight should be banned because it pollutes the air and brings many other problems. v. 6
Nowadays, travelling by plane is more and more acquainted with people than in the past. Besides expensive airlines, there are some low-cost airlines. Someone thinks that cheap air arrival should be banned, however, others think low-cost carriers bring many advantages. On the on hand, cheap flight cannot be denied that is more and more popular, especially for the middle class. First of all, there are many people who feel compassion for buying air ticket because of the expensive thus low-cost trip is the greatest choice. People can save their money and time by using cheaper shuttle. Students have more changes to go aboard to study and it only takes them a few hours to go there. Secondly, the tourism industry is able to develop thus modern people enormously enjoy air travel every day. Therefore, based on aviation, many jobs can be created to tackle the unemployment in this local. On the contrary, cheap flight sometimes cannot guarantee safety and service. Firstly, in low-cost flight, there are more seats so if there is an accident that forced to make an emergency landing, it will be difficult to escape. Besides, the service is not very good and you have to spend money on buying foods and drinks on planes. On top of that, the top concern is the emission from the airplane, each day that causes pollution to the environment. The aircraft exhaust emits a huge amount of carbon dioxide, which is the main aspect of the greenhouse effect. To my point of view, cheap shuttle can open the opportunities for middle class and poor to have more changes to go aboard. However, low-cost flight still exists some inadequacies for people and the environment. In conclusion, although low-cost flight has some disadvantages, it should not be prohibited due to the utilities for people.
Nowadays, travelling by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
is more and more acquainted with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than in the past.
Besides
expensive airlines, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low-cost
airlines. Someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cheap
air arrival should
be banned
,
however
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low-cost
carriers bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages.

On the on hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flight
cannot
be denied
that is
more and more popular,
especially
for the middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who feel compassion for buying air ticket
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the expensive
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low-cost
trip is the greatest choice.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can save their money and time by using cheaper shuttle. Students have more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to go aboard to study and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
takes them a few hours to go there.
Secondly
, the tourism industry is able to develop
thus
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enormously
enjoy air travel every day.
Therefore
, based on aviation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
jobs can
be created
to tackle the unemployment in this local.

On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
cannot guarantee safety and service.
Firstly
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low-cost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flight
, there are more seats
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if there is an accident that forced to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an emergency landing, it will be difficult to escape.
Besides
, the service is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend money on buying foods and drinks on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
.
On top of that
, the top concern is the emission from the airplane, each day that causes pollution to the environment. The aircraft exhaust emits a huge amount of carbon dioxide, which is the main aspect of the greenhouse effect.

To my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cheap
shuttle can open the opportunities for middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and poor to have more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to go aboard.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low-cost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flight
still
exists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
inadequacies for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the environment.
In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low-cost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flight
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages, it should not
be prohibited
due to the utilities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think the cheap air flight gives ordinary people more freedom. However, others think the cheap air flight should be banned because it pollutes the air and brings many other problems. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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